Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
About Literature / Hobbyist 47ronin100Male/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 2 Years
Needs Core Membership
Statistics 2 Deviations 49 Comments 1,962 Pageviews
×

Newest Deviations

No deviations yet

Groups

This user is not currently part of any groups.

Activity


Ronin's Fanwank



Author's note: I'm gonna warn you right now that in this fanfic, a bunch of characters will be mostly OOC, a possible Jerk Stu and everything will be self-indulgent. Been wanting to write this for a while and this will form a basis for another story I'm working on. So, despite the flaws, I hope you enjoy the story.


    "...And? What happens next? Patrick, is this how you're ending the story?"
    The afternoon sun shone through the windows of the Carl's Jr., or as it's known in some places, Hardees, as a stack of papers sat on top of a table. The fast food restaurant was more or less empty save for a few customers. A pair of frustrated parents were dealing with their crying boy while they tried ordering their food. An old man in line looked at the display with so much contempt that he snapped at the kid to shut up. This led to an argument between the boy's parents and the old man. The stack of papers had some greasy fingerprints on them, having been touched by greasy hands, after handling greasy fries and a greasy burger. The ice cubes had started to melt into the medium sized sodas, watering down the taste.
    Erwin burped, causing a pair of teenage girls in the booth behind him to giggle obnoxiously. He ran out of napkins so he wiped his greasy hands on his black cargo pants. "So that's the ending then? His daughter dies?"
    Patrick whispered so low that his friend could barely hear him. "Uh, yeah, uh, his kid dies and that's the end."
    "What was that, bro, speak up." Erwin adjusted his glasses.
    "I said that yeah, he loses his daughter. Kind of a shocker ending, right?" Patrick almost grinned as he felt pretty proud of himself. He took a bite out of his burger.
    "So this also means Jack dies as well?
    "Huh?" Patrick sipped his root beer.
    "I mean, he's from the future and his daughter is his ancestor so yeah, he would cease to exist." Erwin shuffled the papers of Patrick's story together and slid them across the table. "Yeah, that's really bleak."
    "Yeah, it totally is but that's why I like it. Because there's no sappy bullshit happy ending. Because that's life, man-"
    "Jesus, not this again," Erwin sighed.
    "-and in real life, the hero doesn't get the girl, he doesn't kill all the bad guys, and he doesn't even save the day. Hell, he's probably not even a hero, more likely the villain! I mean, take a look at the world around us. What do you see? Pollution, war, famine, government corruption, genocide, and everything else self-destructive that humanity is so fucking good at doing. And nobody cares about any of that because they're so damn wrapped up in getting their next pay check or watching reality TV shows or the next big blockbuster comic book movie or celebs giving or getting blowjobs in public! Apathy! Everyone is so apathetic! So I say fuck it, I'm going to write something real. As real as it fucking gets."
    "Dude, you wrote a fanfiction about a time travelling cop from the future who kills zombies. There is nothing real about that. Also, you're paying the next meal."
    "Like hell I will. I'm saving up my cash."
    "Ha, what's this about people too focused on getting their next pay check now?" Erwin chuckled.
    "Okay, one, I don't have a bank account and a job and two, I'm gonna check out that Allmart over in San Marcos?"
    Erwin merely smirked. "Yeah, this movie, uh, wouldn't happen to be-"
    "It's not a porno so don't you start," Patrick retorted.
    "Also, 'Darkness never dies, no matter how many times you kill it'? The fuck kind of emo nonsense is that?" Erwin had pulled out his Nintendo 3DS and started playing a game on it. "You never did return my other 3DS you borrowed, by the way."
    Patrick cringed. He hadn't told Erwin yet that he busted the damn thing. "Um, I don't have it on me today but I will get it back to you day after tomorrow."
    Erwin grunted as he was immersed in the game. "You said that the last three times."
    Changing the subject, Patrick said, " Yeah, yeah, I promise this time I will. Okay, I guess when you uh say that line out loud, it does sound kind of...lame. I'll be sure to change it."
    "And another thing, dude, MP5's aren't machine guns, they're submachine guns. There's a huge difference. And you got a bunch of typos. And that twist where Jack's ex-wife is a trancer is really dumb. And-"
    "OKAY, I get the message, you really don't need to tell me every frickin' thing that's wrong with the story!" Patrick snapped a little too loudly as he tapped his left foot. The teens stopped giggling and stared at Erwin's and Patrick's table.
    "Hey, how about you relax. Can we not get kicked out again," Erwin said.
    Patrick, annoyed at the two girls staring at them, ignored him and said, "Why don't you mind your own business. Go back to talking about sucking Justin Bieber's cock or whatever it is you fucking idiots do these days."
    The two girls, on the verge of tears, immediately got up and left their table. Erwin kept silent for an uncomfortably long time before saying, "So, uh, what the fuck is your problem, man."
    "What, I just told them to mind their business. They had it coming," Patrick said as he shuffled in his seat.
    "You went off on them for no reason whatsoever. The way you've been acting has gotten us kicked out at other places. Seriously, what the fuck."
    "You fucking kidding me? Why aren't you seeing that they weren't minding their own business." Patrick's voice rose a bit higher and the other patrons were looking at them now.
    "Dude, you're making a scene. Lower your voice."
    Flustered, Patrick replied. "Don't tell me what to do. I hate it when you do that."
    "If you can't control yourself then I'm just gonna get up and leave like last time."
    Patrick sat there fuming. "Fine."
    "This shit has got to stop. Really." Erwin picked up his food tray to throw away his trash. "You need to have some sex, man. What about Emma Watson? Haven't you been hitting that sweet ass?"
    The old man, overhearing this and clearly disgusted, said, "Hey, you mind keeping it down, buddy?"
    Erwin ignored the old man and Patrick sighed as he endured the embarrassment from his friend. "Can you just not, man. And quit calling her that! She's not Emma Watson, dude. She fucking hates being called that and you know it."
    "She looks and sounds like Emma Watson. So I'm gonna call her that. I mean I could call her Foxylene Siouxsie Angel du Dehors but I don't think you'd like that, eh?" Erwin grinned mischievously as Patrick glared at him.
    "No, I haven't even talked with her. She kind of hates my guts right now. I mean, she did lose her entire world and everybody she ever loved so...I'm pretty sure sex is the last thing on her mind." Patrick stood up and went outside, Erwin following him. "I mean, I really don't blame her and she moved out so I don't know what she's up too. And you know when she disappears, she fucking becomes a ghost."
    "How hard is it to find her? She probably didn't move that far anyway."
    Patrick walked in the direction to where the sprinter would take him to San Marcos. "I don't think it's sinking in your brain yet that Hermione Granger can easily disappear just like that."

***

    The sun still shone high up in the sky as Patrick and Erwin walked through the Allmart doors. The air conditioning cooled Patrick down after having walked for a mile in the sun. They went to the movie section and looked through the Blu-rays and DVD's. Patrick looked around, not really watching where he was going when he bumped into a girl. "Oh I'm so sorry for...oh, it's you."
    He didn't recognize the girl facing him, dressed in goth clothing, with her pixie haircut and black dyed hair, but that familiar posh English accent stood out. "...Hermione? Is that you? You look different. I mean, you look better, not that you didn't look good before but I can barely...I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound like a jackass but I do, don't I?"
    She stared at him. "You always mess up everything, don't you?"
    Patrick felt like his stomach had a hole in it. Now all of the guilt that he could barely hold back on a daily basis tore through him as he remembered her scratching and hitting him as Patrick pulled her back from the door leading to her reality, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, as it collapsed into the void where those beings that shouldn't exist dwelt. Her peals of scream echoed as Erwin slammed the door with his foot because his hands were full with the flamethrower, as Patrick dragged her the hallways of doors that led into other realities as the door leading to Hogwarts dissolved into nothing as those things poured out and pursued them through the corridors. By then she had gone catatonic and motionless that Patrick struggled to keep her moving. The trio jumped through several doors and into several universes until they had lost them. When they made it back home, it became worse for her as she found out the truth about her life.
    That was six months ago. Man, it still feels like yesterday. Can't believe she bounced back from all of that. I still have those nightmares about them and I don't know how I'd ever handle the fact that my life was dictated by someone who writes children's books, Patrick thought. Or maybe the creator didn't just dream it up. Maybe she simply had a dream or a split second thought that was actually the other world peeking through a window and she noticed it momentarily before the window closed shut. She'd forget what happened until she would remember to write it down. But then, anything Harry Potter disappeared from the real world, as if it never existed. Because it fell into-
    "The void." Hermione said, finishing his train of thought. Because she could very easily read people's minds.
    "Um, you did that occuwhatever thing again, didn't you?"
    "Legilimency actually." She looked at him with suspicion. "What are you doing here?"
    Patrick seemed to have forgotten why he was there. "I was just looking for...this movie!"
    He picked a random title and took it off the shelf, not even looking at the cover.
    "You like Trancers then? Never knew you to be a big Trancers fan." Hermione said as she started looking through her special bag. Patrick took a quick glance at the movie he grabbed and found it odd that he happened to pick the movie that he wrote a fanfic. Then a thought popped up in his mind. Jack Deth could be very real, couldn't he? If Harry Potter existed, then surely-
    "Well then that would be retarded," Patrick blurted before realizing he spoke out loud. "Sorry. So, uh, I take it this whole get up is the new you, then? 'Cause this doesn't seem like you-"
    Hermione didn't even bother looking up as she pulled out a shiny box. "What? No, I'm undercover. I've been with this group of kids who may have found a door over here. And this Oztklplm is going to help me find it."
    "How do you even pronounce-wait, so the reason you left, why you haven't called is because you were busy playing secret agent? I am so confused."
    The box started to blink green lights and Hermione started to move quickly so Patrick had to catch up with her. "Why are you following me? Go away."
    "You're gonna need some back up here, so I'm coming along." Patrick said, still holding onto the Trancers Blu-ray. Hermione stopped by the TV section. Five goth kids with various piercings and dark clothing crowded around one of the HDTV's as the picture started to have some compression artefact. Two of the goth group left and headed for the front entrance of the store. Hermione's box started to blink rapidly as she got closer. She was careful to stay out of the group's sight. Patrick gave up on even asking what was going on and just decided to roll with whatever was happening. "Look, um, I know this isn't a good time to talk but I just want you to know that I'm really really sorry about what happened-"
    She sighed as she put away the box and pulled out her wand. "There is no point to this. You couldn't do a thing about it and I'm not blaming you for it. I'm also sorry I dropped out without so much as a good-bye. You screw up a lot of things but what happened...wasn't your fault."
    Patrick felt slightly better hearing this. "Thanks for saying that."
    Hermione shrugged. "Now would you mind staying out of the way, please? This could get ugly."
    He chuckled. "What are they gonna do? Read me some of their depressing poetry and bore me to death? C'mon, they're a bunch of-"
    Just then a store employee, a guy in his early thirties, walked up to the goths. His bright blue shirt and smile made him stick out. "Hey, you guys looking for anything in particular?"
    One of the goths, a tall guy, turned towards him as he reached into his coat. "Yeah, I want a look inside of that skull of yours."
    The employee, still smiling, said, "I'm sorry, I don't underst-"
    The back of his head exploded outwards. The employee's brains splattered a woman in her mid forties as she screamed in terror before being shot in her left eye. The tall goth had pulled out a revolver and started shooting indiscriminately at everyone while the other two pulled out a shotguns and blasted away. One of them turned towards Patrick, who stood there in stunned silence, and aimed at him. Hermione pushed him down to the ground as the shelf behind them got shredded by a shell. "Jesus fucking Christ, what-"
    Hermione interrupted him and pushed him away from her. "Get out of here! I'll take care of them! Go call the police!"
    Patrick crawled away as Hermione vanished into thin air.

***

    Erwin was at the video game section when he heard the shots echoing throughout the store, hearing more gunfire from the front entrance. "What the fuck-"
    A goth dude wielded a sawed off double barrel shotgun, blasting away at the people around him. He stopped to reload his weapon as another goth covered him by firing off shots. Erwin ran for cover, heading into the McDonalds section of the store and leapt over the counter. Two employees, a teen girl with strawberry blonde hair that had a pink streak running through it and an old black guy with a beard, crouched down in fear. She nearly screamed but the black guy covered her mouth. Erwin raised his hands up. "It's okay, I'm not one of the shooters."
    "Ohmygodwhat'shappeningamIgonnadie-"
    The black guy cut her off. "Kirsty, you have to keep your voice down or else they'll hear us."
    The teen sniffled, tears streaming down her face. Erwin felt his heart beating rapidly. Fucking what the hell is going on. Mass shooters? Fuck me, this is bad. Wait, where the fuck is Patrick? More shots were fired, causing the teen and black dude to flinch. Erwin reached into the back of his pants and pulled out a pocketknife. The black guy stared at him incredulously. "What the hell are you going to do with that?"
    "I don't know but it seems better than nothing. Have you called the cops yet?" Erwin peeked over the counter and spotted one of the goths heading towards the McDonalds.
    Shit.
    He crouched back down a bit too rapidly and knocked over some plastic forks, making too much noise. "Fuck, my bad. Uh I think one of em is head this way and you should leave like now."
    The teen started to cry as the black guy tried shushing her. Erwin held his pocketknife at the ready. I'm gonna die and they're gonna die. Fuck, I don't want to die.
    The goth peeked over the counter, his shotgun aimed squarely at Erwin, eyeliner and black lipstick sticking out from the paleface. His eyes revealed no emotions. Fingers squeezing the trigger-
    "Hey fuckface!" The goth turned towards whoever said that and Erwin heard a heavy thwack, a guy gurgling, and a thud as a body hit the floor. Several seconds passed and Patrick peeked over the counter. "Everyone okay?"
    Erwin let out his breath and thought of something clever to say but instead he said, "I'm good."
    "Erwin? Shit, thank God you're alive. C'mon, we gotta go help Hermione and-"
    "What? No way, I'm getting the fuck out of here. We're both getting out, man! Don't act like a retard, man, let's go!"
    The black guy spoke up. "I agree with the white boy. We need to leave now."
    Erwin stood up and saw that Patrick, looking queasy, held a bloody snow shovel in his hands. The goth was lying down, a pool of blood forming around his head. He dropped it and went to the goth, picking up the shotgun, and rifled through his pockets to find some other weapons. "Patrick, don't do this. You aren't in a movie. You're gonna fucking die and-"
    Patrick looked up at him as he finished picking out more shells for the shotgun. "Fine then. Leave if you're not going to help. But I'm not leaving her alone."
    "Do you even hear yourself?! She's a fucking witch. With godlike powers and other crazy shit. You'd be slowing her down," Erwin said as the goth moved, pulling out a small pistol.
    "I'm going to kill you cunts and skullfuck your mouths," said the goth as he fired off a shot, barely missing Patrick's head. He screamed and dropped the shotgun. Erwin dived for it, scooping it up, and aimed at the goth's head. "How about you skullfuck yourself, faggot!"
    Erwin fired both barrels and disintegrated the goth's head, spraying the floor with his brains. Only his bottom jaw was left as it spurted blood. Nobody said anything for a couple seconds before the teenage girl puked on the counter. After she finished vomiting, she picked up a bunch of napkins, wiped her mouth, and said, "That's really homophobic, you jerk. I have a gay brother."
    Erwin got to his feet and blew the smoke from the barrels of the shotgun. "You're welcome, by the way."
    Patrick nodded in agreement. "Yeah, that was uncalled for, man. You could have just left it out."
    The black guy spoke up. "I don't wanna sound ungrateful, but that was probably in bad taste."
    Erwin threw his hands up, waving the shotgun around and causing the black guy and the teen to flinch. "Are you fucking with me? Seriously, I just saved your asses and this is how you repay me!? I don't hate the gays!"
    "Erwin, just a small tip, when you say the gays, it's not helping your case, man."
    "Forget the tip, you guys are giving me the shaft. Fucking unbelievable. C'mon, let's go and help out your girlfriend, Patrick." Erwin popped out the empty shells from the shotgun and reloaded it.
    "But I thought-"
    Erwin turned around and said, "Dude, you are the most likely to die. I'm going to keep you from dying like a retard."
    The teen spoke up. "You really shouldn't say the R word. It's not politically correct."
    Erwin snapped at her. "I can say that word because my friend here happens to be a huge, certified retard. He was in Special Ed for the majority of his life and he took the short bus. And you just saw him spaz out by dropping the shotgun and nearly killing us. So yeah, he's a retard. Now where is Emma?"
    Patrick stuttered at him before replying. "Dude, what did I just say? Never mind. She's in the back of the store. With three of these assholes gunning for her. Uh, I don't have a weapon."
    Erwin gestured with the shotgun towards the pistol, a Glock, in the dead goth's hand. "Got one right there." He started to take off. Patrick went over to the goth and picked up the Glock as he gagged from the gory mess where his head used to be. He turned to the teen and the black guy. "In case anyone ever asks, could you leave out the little detail where I screamed like a little girl. It wouldn't look good for me. And the other thing about me being in Special Ed. Okay?"
    They stared at him. Patrick nodded. "Uh okay, have a nice day, I mean, just stay safe...I'm leaving now."
    And he took off after Erwin.

***

    Hermione Granger cussed under her breath as she evaded the goth kids, crouching low and hiding behind the lawnmower. She kept her wand at the ready. The two goths were gunning for her in the hardware section of the store. I could use the Killing Curse on them. She stopped herself. That would make her no different than the killers. She heard footsteps coming in her direction.
    "No killing. I can't do it. I won't." She whispered to herself. She peeked around the lawnmower and found one of the shooters nearby, his back turned towards her. She aimed her wand and cast Petrificus Totalus on him. The tip of her wand flashed and the shooter became rigidly still before falling down on the ground.
    "Well, that was easy." She said before she heard a shotgun being pumped behind her. She immediately used the Disapparition charm and teleported herself towards the other end of the hardware section as she heard the shotgun blast from the other side. The goth, 35 yards away, whipped around and fired again. Hermione disapparated again, dodging another blast, appearing behind him. He turned around and she used Expelliarmus to disarm him. The shotgun was flung out of his hands but he dived to the side, pulling out two Glock pistols and firing a barrage at her, only to miss her as she disapparated again. He stood up again, firing random shots. He saw some movement behind a shelf and fired his pistols simultaneously, forcing Hermione to keep disapparating.
    Hermione had disapparated to the furniture section, hiding behind a desk. She couldn't get a clear shot at the second shooter since he kept moving around and firing constantly.
    "I know who you are, bitch. The man in my dreams warned me about you. Said to keep an eye out for you. And I'm making sure it stays that way." The goth shouted before he fired his Glock pistols at the tables, cabinets, and desks in the furniture section. A bullet went through the desk that Hermione hid behind, nearly missing her head. She was going to have use drastic measures. She pointed her wand over the desk and started casting Incendio at anything. The goth shouted as she heard flames crackling, burning the furniture. She disapparated to into the bed section and cast more of the fire-making spell in the direction of the goth. Hermione had lit up the whole section as the fire increased and burned everything. A little excessive but it got the job done.
    Just then, the goth burst out of the flames, screaming in agony and fury, and firing his pistols. His coat had caught on fire but that didn't seem to stop him. Hermione cast several Stupefy spells at him but he dived for cover behind a bed. He fired over the bed, shooting up the other beds, as feathers flew up in air. She fired several more Stupefy spells, bolts of red light tearing the air and the beds. He leapt over the bed as Hermione cast Mobiliarbus on the bed, sending it into the ceiling, crushing the shooter. It crashed back down, as the shooter bounced off it upon impact and hit the floor. His limbs were broken, some of sticking through the skin, as he lay unconscious. Hermione panted, shaking off the adrenaline, as she walked up to him. He was breathing erratically but she didn't care as she picked up the guns and took them apart, leaving nothing to chance, crouched next to him and took out his knife. She chucked it and cast Reducto on it. Then she made her way to the furniture section, the sprinklers activating and trying to put out the fire. She cast Aguamenti on the flames, to make it easier for the sprinklers, water spraying from her wand. Who was he talking about? The man in his dreams? This doesn't make sense. At least there was only two shooters left and she hoped that Patrick took her advice and left.
    Several gunshots from the back of the other store proved otherwise. "Fuck. That idiot is botching things up already!"
    She apparated to the back and found herself nearly under fire as the tall goth fired his revolver at Patrick and Erwin, who were firing back erratically from behind a shelf. The TV section was swathed in blood and the tall goth had taken off his coat and shirt, showing off his scars, parallel lines that looked vaguely familiar. Erwin got a shot off and hit him right in the chest, knocking the tall goth back against the TV's.
    "Bullseye motherfucker! That oughta teach these faggots not to fuck with me!" Erwin shouted as Patrick shook his head.
    "Dude, seriously, you have got to stop saying that. It's not cool and it really doesn't make you sound badass or funny." Patrick said. 
    "And I keep telling you I mean it in the South Park way, Patrick. When I say faggots, what I really mean is the fuckers who make life shitty and miserable for the rest of us. Just like this faggot here!"
    Patrick sighed loudly. "The word is never going to mean what you say and it makes you sound like a twelve year old kid who plays Call of Duty non-stop."
    Erwin glared at him. "That's a low-blow, Patrick. I play real video games. Don't even put me in with those faggots."
    "Fuck it, I'm done arguing the point. I'm shutting it down, I'm shutting this conversation down." Patrick spotted Hermione on the other side. "Hey! I told you we'd have your back!"
    "I never said I would have her back. You're the only one who thought she couldn't take care of herself. And you call me a sexist all the time because you think I don't believe women can take care of themselves. Yeah, well who's the sexist now?"
    Patrick snapped at Erwin. "And I call you a misogynist too because you keep making unfunny rape jokes all the fucking time. And the only reason you think she can take care of herself is the fact that she has godlike powers! That's probably not enough to take on the friggin' bad guys...shit, that came out wrong, Hermione, sorry! I didn't mean that you can't take care of yourself, it's just that it wouldn't hurt if you had some back-up, uh right?"
    Erwin raised his hands and called out to her. "He said it. Not me, I'm not the one being a chauvinist right now. He is. I just want it on the record that I totally thought you had this under control and that I tried dragging him out. But he acted like a retard and tried to getting himself killed. The fact that you blew up half the store taking out the other faggots is proof enough that you didn't need help. And now the sprinklers are on and my clothes are wet and a bunch of faggots were trying to kill me today. Because this retard didn't know any better."
    Hermione, already exasperated by the sheer display of idiocy, sighed and turned toward the dead tall goth. The body wasn't there any more. "What the f-"
    A bone rattling voice thundered through the store. "THE TIME HAS COME FOR HIM TO CROSS OVER. HE WILL FEAST ON YOUR CORPSES, RAPE YOUR BABIES TO DEATH, MAKE YOUR FAMILIES FALL INTO HATRED AND DESPAIR, TEAR THE SKY ASUNDER, AND GIVE NEW MEANING TO FEAR."
    Erwin picked at his ear with his pinky and said, "You gonna have to speak up because I didn't catch that."
    The HDTV that had compression artefact now showed the tall goth or rather what was left of him. His skin was melting off as something bulged under it.
    Patrick aimed his gun at the screen. "No way, shit for brains."
    Just then Hermione realized what the TV was. A door or window into another world. But to what she didn't know until now. The way the tall goth's scarring looked reminded her of a particular boogeyman.
    "No, Patrick don't shoot at the-"
    It was too late as Patrick fired a shot at the TV. It shattered but instead of the image going out, it slid into reality.

***

    The mass of bubbling flesh writhed on the floor as the skin slopped off. It stood up and the last piece of skin sloughed off, revealing Freddy Krueger. The burnt skin on his skull pulsated, as if something else was trying to break out through Freddy's body. His trademark fedora, striped sweater, and clawed hands were all there.
  "Shit! Nice going, Patrick, you really fucked the goose this time, man." Erwin said as he aimed his shotgun at Freddy and fired. The pellets tore through the flesh but it didn't knock him down. Freddy cackled as he pointed at one of the corpses from the massacre. It twitched and stood up, as the dead employee who had his brains blown out now rose up and started towards Erwin. Several more bodies began moving. Patrick started shooting at the reanimated corpse running towards them.
    "Dude, I can't believe we're fighting-"
    "DON'T SAY IT, ERWIN, DON'T SAY THE FUCKING Z-WORD. I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL KILL YOU IF YOU DO." Patrick fired his Glock and the employee got shot in the head a second time.
    Hermione simply cast Incendio at the moving dead bodies but the sprinklers set the fires out. So she used Reducto on them, due to the fact that they were just moving solid masses of flesh. The results were spectacular as the lights from the spells flashed through the air and the bodies exploded into red giblets. She kept casting it repeatedly, mowing down the living dead.
    "Fucking A, she's got this. But we gotta get out of here, Patrick, away from these zombies!" Erwin fired his last shell at the head of a zombie and it burst into pieces.
    "Dammit, Erwin, what did I fucking say?! I said to not use that word!" Patrick fired several times before it clicked on empty and then he threw it at the zombies.
    "Okay, do you want me to call them undead faggots then?"
    Patrick groaned as he ran to the front of the store. The last goth was firing into the zombies, created by him, but they overtook him and tore him to pieces as the goth screamed in agony.
    "You reap what you sow, faggot!" Erwin shouted at the dying goth as he pushed a zombie out of the way, dropping his shotgun, and running through the front doors.
    Outside, it was all chaos as the local police and SWAT units had their hands full with the zombies. They hadn't yet realized that they weren't people who were wounded. And then shots were fired, culminating in a fusillade into a cluster of zombies. Patrick and Erwin ducked out of the way and hid behind some cars as the SWAT's submachine gunfire rattled through air.
    "Shit! What the fuck do we do now!" Patrick yelled above the din of gunshots.
    "WHAT?"
    "I said, what do we do now?"
    "What do we do now, Patrick?" Erwin shouted, not noticing Patrick shaking his head in annoyance. He yanked Erwin's sleeve and pointed at the parking lot entrance. Erwin nodded and crawled along with Patrick, staying out of the way from the police.
    Suddenly Erwin slumped down, screaming in pain, as he grabbed his shoulder. A stray bullet had hit him and Patrick pointed at the armored SWAT van. "Quick, in there!"
    He dragged his friend as the battle raged on and they leapt in the back, closing the doors. Erwin rocked back and forth as his shoulder bled as Patrick looked at it.
    "How bad is it?" Erwin said as blood ran profusely from the gaping, bloody hole in his back.
    "Uh, it's not so bad...."
    Erwin yelled in pain again, gritted his teeth and glared at Patrick. "You're a shitty fucking liar, you know that, right?"
    "What do you want me to say, that it's the size of a golf ball?!"
    "What the fuck, really?! I didn't know it was that bad! Why the fuck would you tell me that!?"
    "I didn't say it was bad! And you asked!" Patrick tried to lean Erwin back but he screamed in more pain.
    "Just-just stop, okay, please. You've done enough to fuck up my day. Now, I'm going to pass out here and hope that I die while I'm unconscious."
    Something moved in the front seat. Erwin groaned as he and Patrick turned towards where the sound came from. "Now what?"
    An EMT peeked over the seat. "Oh thank God, I thought you were one of them. Hey, is your friend all right there?"
    Erwin winced as he held a hand over his wound. "Actually, I'm perfectly fine so no need to worry about me at all."
    The EMT looked confused. "Uh...okay, I should probably take a look at that."
    "YEAH YOU DO THAT."
    
***
 
    "REDUCTO, REDUCTO, REDUCTO, REDUCTO, REDUCTO, REDUCTO, REDUCTO!" Hermione didn't even bother casting nonverbally as she blasted the zombies away with her wand. Two of them jumped at her and she cast her spell twice, decapitating one and bifurcating the other. The sprinkler system made the floor slippery as the blood from the obliterated zombies covered the entire floor. The bifurcated zombie didn't stop going after her as the upper half crawled towards her. She obliterated the zombie's head with a flick of her wand.
    And then the SWAT unit, who had been fighting their way into their store, came upon the scene with their guns blazing. Hermione dove for cover behind the McDonald's counter as they fired indiscriminately, not sure who wasn't human and who wasn't a zombie. The shelves were being shot to pieces, zombies being pelted with bullets as blood spurted from the gunshot wounds, and the floor running red with blood. Stuck between the guncrazy police and the ravenous zombie horde, she muttered fuck several times over and over.
    "Fuck me, this is about as bad as it gets." Hermione said to herself.
    And then it got worse.
    Freddy showed up, arms outstretched and walking ever so slowly towards the phalanx of the SWAT team. The shooting hadn't even fazed the infamous villain at all. He got so close to the SWAT team that he swiped away at one and slit his throat. The poor bastard gurgled as he wandered away from the phalanx before being impaled by Freddy's claws through the back. Freddy lifted him with his one arm and flung him towards the McDonald's. The dead SWAT flew over the counter and slammed into the deep fryer, his head dipping into the boiling grease as the flesh began to be burned. Hermione felt herself nearly gagging at the horrifying sight as the stench overwhelmed her. Just then, she saw movement in the back and two other people peeked from the fridge door. A small, dainty hand waved her in and Hermione crawled past the dead body of the SWAT guy.
    Only for an arm to shoot out and grab her throat. Hermione gagged as the zombified SWAT raised its head, the skin bubbling with blisters from grease burns. She pointed her wand at the face and yelled, "REDUCTO."
    It was instantaneous as the head exploded, spraying her with blood and brains. It felt warm and some of it got into her mouth, the blood tasting like copper. She spat it out, wrested the hand from her throat, and scampered into the walk-in freezer.
    "Shut that fucking door, shut it now!" A man's voice shouted. The door was slammed shut and the chaos of carnage and gunfire was muffled. Hermione still tasted the blood so she kept spitting until the taste went away. And then she took a deep breath as her eyes were shut. Then she opened them and looked at a young blonde girl who appeared to be in her teens, a pink streak running through her hair, and an older black man with graying hair. They were staring at her in disgust and she didn't know why until she touched her face and drew back her bloody hands.
    "Oh God." Hermione started wiping her face roughly to get rid of the blood. I can't get it off, I can't I can't I can't I CAN'T.
   
"Hey, uh, here's a water bottle-" The blonde girl didn't finish her sentence as Hermione pointed her wand at it, used the Levitation Charm, and levitated the bottled water right into her free hand. She poured it all over her face, scrubbing to get rid of any lingering traces of blood. When she was done, the black man and young girl now had an expression of fear on their faces.
    "Don't worry, I'm not going to hurt you," Hermione said but they seemed unconvinced. She couldn't blame them, after all of the insanity that's still going on, someone with magic would definitely put them on edge.
    "What are you? You look like one of those kids who were shooting up the place." The black man said as he held up a kitchen knife. Hermione realized that with her disguise on, they would be afraid of her. She slowly raised her hands up and said, "Believe me when I say that I have nothing to do with that lot. If anything, I was trying to prevent them from committing mass murder. But as you can see, it hasn't gone too well. Now if you would be kind enough to put down that knife, I can show you two the way out."
    The black man didn't seem convinced but the blonde girl knelt by Hermione. "I think she's telling the truth, Jack. Okay, whoever you are-"
    "Hermione Granger. Pleased to meet you."
    "Name's Andrea. Hermione, what's your plan on getting us out?" Hermione contemplated on how to explain it to them before she decided to just outright say it.
    "I can teleport the three of us out of here with just a flick of my wand." Hermione said, using a word that most muggles would be familiar with as opposed to Apparate.
    "It's that simple, huh? Well, why didn't you do that to begin with then." Jack said.
    "I wanted to make sure everybody got out. And the two of you are probably the only ones still stuck here except for the police. Now, do you want to catch pneumonia or shall we leave?"
    "This is crazy. How-"
    "Look, do you want to get out or not?" Hermione said. She stood up and held out her hand to Andrea. "Hold onto my hand and you hold onto Jack's. Go on, do it."
    When the three of them were ready, Jack spoke up. "This is really stupid."
    Hermione worried about splinching but she had no other alternative. "Jack, Andrea, I want you to visualize where you want to go and focus on that visual as hard as you can. Preferably somewhere not too far but enough distance between here and our destination."
    "The sprinter station. That's far enough for me. Jack, what do you say?" Andrea said, glancing towards Jack. He merely shrugged.
    "Good enough for me."
    Hermione visualized the sprinter station and concentrated hard. "Get ready. Also, you might be a little sick."
    Jack said something but he was cut off as the three Apparated out of the store-
    -and onto the sprinter platform, in front of commuters as they goggled at a middle aged black guy, a white teenaged girl, and a blood spattered goth suddenly appear out of thin air. Jack keeled over and vomited while Andrea made a gagging noise. Hermione felt an uneasy feeling but that was normal with Side Along Apparition.
    "Fuck, that felt like going through a small tunnel made of rubber," Jack said as he wiped his mouth.
    Hermione looked over at Andrea, who made a thumbs up sign to show that she was holding up while covering her mouth with the other. She heard an explosion in the distance. The people at the platform turned to the direction of the sound and she could hear several gasps. Smoke billowed up from the direction of the store. Hermione dreaded going back but she knew that nobody could stop Krueger. I'm the only thing standing between Freddy Krueger's horde of zombies and humanity. Hermione sighed to herself. And that was an actual thought I had. What has become of my life.
   
Hermione was about to Disapparate when she stopped and said to Jack and Andrea, "Well, wish me luck."
    "Lady, I hope I never see you ever again in my life," said Jack.
    "Good luck," said Andrea.
    Hermione vanished into thin air again, back into the storm.

***

    The EMT finished up patching Erwin's shoulder. Patrick sat in silence as he thought about how much he had fucked up. Well, it was bound to happen again sooner or later. Guess it was sooner. Erwin nearly got killed, Hermione might be dead and if she isn't, she probably hates my guts. And I may have caused the end of the world.
   
"Hey Erwin, you were right, man. I am a retard. I don't think I could have messed up even more than that time I brought that airsoft gun to school."
    Erwin, though medicated, looked at Patrick. "Nah. To be fair, even though you fucked over the world, you did it with good intentions. And I would still have your back."
    Patrick sniffled a bit. Either his friend was really high or he was finally being cool with him because they were going to die. "Thanks, I really appreciate hearing that. Really wished we could have watched Trancers though."
    "Ha, no thanks. I'd rather die, which might be soon, than watch another shitty movie with you. Besides, the only Blu-ray player nearby is in the store and-"
    And then dawned on Patrick that they could still save the world and Hermione. He looked down at the Blu-ray case of Trancers. "Erwin, you magnificent bastard. I know what we're gonna do next."
    Erwin closed his eyes. "Ah shit, you have a plan, don't you?"

***

Diane: Good evening, I'm Diane Stillson and this is your KTLA 5 Local News, with a breaking news story that is happening now. Our correspondent Dan Barnes is at the scene live with a chopper. Dan, are you there?

Dan: Yes, Diane, and it is a scene of total chaos as SWAT units and local law enforcement officials are locked into a relentless battle with what appears to be a group of individuals exhibiting cannibalistic tendencies. And-oh my God, are you catching this?

[Footage of a SWAT van speeding across the parking lot as it crashes through the front entrance]

Dan: It seems the SWAT units have decided to go with a daring plan and drive right into the store.

[Footage of a police chopper flying over the store only for it to fall onto the rooftop. It crashes through, causing a massive hole]

Dan: Oh my God. Did you get that? Fly us in closer. Okay, it-what? It turns out that the SWAT van has been commandeered by two men in their early twenties. And one of them, the tall one, seems to be wounded but standing up fine. He's armed with a SWAT submachine gun and is firing, with one arm I believe, on the attackers while the other is wielding a Japanese sword?! I think it's a katana of sorts. Oh, he just cut down one of the attackers and is making his way through to the electronics section.

[Footage of the individuals fighting their way through the horde of violent attackers. The one holding the gun looks up and flips the bird at the camera. The other one with the katana runs to a video recording device]

Dan: The shorter man is trying to put something in the...DVD player? He's plugged it into one of the TV's. He's put the DVD in...okay, now he's been jumped by one of the attackers and is fighting him off. They're struggling and-wait, the short individual has knocked off the assailant and Oh Lord, he decapitated him! Now he's focusing on the DVD player again and-

[Footage at this point is rendered fuzzy as a bright light flashes from the TV before coming back to normal again. Now there are two more individuals]

Dan: Two more individuals have joined the fray. A dark haired man with a chainsaw and a shotgun and he's accompanied by an older man in a trenchcoat who has a hairdryer?! The man with the chainsaw seems confused as to the events happening around him. He's talking with the shorter man as the latter is waving his hands around. The dark haired man nods and is shrugging before helping the younger man fight off the attackers. The older man is shooting his hairdryer and there's a thin beams of light emanating from it. Is this a new weapon from law enforcement?!

[Footage shows the two older men side by side taking down several of the attackers. The dark haired man with the chainsaw cleaves one of the attackers in half, spraying blood everywhere. The older man is firing his weapon until one of the attackers leaps onto his back. The man with the chainsaw gestures for him to hold still as he aims his shotgun at the other man, to shoot the attacker. The older man shakes his head in vehement disagreement, clearly not happy with the other's idea. The man with the shotgun shoots at the attacker anyway, knocking both the older man and the attacker down. The old man gets back up and seems extremely distressed with the other man]

Dan: Wow, this is extremely violent footage. Viewers with young ones at home may want to change the channel due to the extreme graphic images. Wait a minute...who is that young girl?

[Footage of a girl in dark clothing firing technicolor beams of light at the attacker, causing them to explode in red mist. The man with the chainsaw starts attacking her but the short guy stands between them. The older man in the coat keeps firing his strange weapon. The man with the chainsaw lowers his shotgun tentatively before pushing the short guy out of the way and firing at the girl. The girl doesn't seemed fazed by the blast and transforms into an individual wearing a fedora and wielding a clawed hands. The attackers gathered around the man with the fedora, seemingly protecting him. The same girl dark clothing then comes into view from a different direction, firing technicolor beams at the clawed man]

Dan: Uh, what the fuck...I can't believe what I just saw. Knew I shouldn't have drank on the job today.

Cameraman off-screen: You're still on the air, Dan.

Dan: Oh shit!

***

    "Hey asshole, anyone ever tell you that burnt victim look is in bad taste?" said Ash Williams as he cranked up his chainsaw arm and raised his double barrel shotgun at the infamous serial killer. Jack Deth, a scar running down the left side of his face, groaned in annoyance. Ash glanced in his direction. "You got something you wanna share with the group?"
    "I'm not the type to open up and share my feelings with a therapist bot," Jack said as he leveled his Heater and .38 Special at Freddy Krueger.
    "Oh, we got a real tough guy here. All machismo and no heart. You gotta let the ladies know that you have a bit of a sensitivity. That way, they'll fall madly in love with you."
    "Holy shit, Ash, how did you know Hermione was actually one of Freddy's disguises?!" Patrick exclaimed in awe.
    Ash smirked. "I didn't, kiddo."
    Jack spoke up. "Don't mean to-"
    Patrick looked aghast. "Uh, excuse me? You mean, even if it was my actual friend, you would have shot anyway?!"
    Jack tried interjecting again. "How about we have this conversation some-"
    "Look at it from my point of view, Pablo-"
    "Patrick."
    "-Exactly. I see a girl who's dressed up like she's ready for Halloween and shooting laser beams from her stick. Does that look like a trustworthy individual to you?"
    "Well, when you put it that way, I guess...."
    "I think I rest my case. Now where were we oh shit!"
    Freddy Krueger's zombie horde had gathered around him. Jack said, "Just thought you should know that we're surrounded."
    Ash shrugged. "Doesn't matter, we'll just cut-"
    Several beams of light cut through the zombie horde as Hermione fired several Reducto spells at them. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING STANDING AROUND LIKE A BUNCH OF WANKERS. FUCKING DO SOMETHING."
    "Get the bitch! She'll be my new toy,' Freddy growled as the zombies went after her. The rest went after the two heroes and the two schlubs with them.
    "They're gonna overwhelm us!" Patrick shouted as he cut down one of them with the wakizashi he picked up in the special items store.
    "You maybe but I'm walking out of here today." Ash said as he bifurcated a zombie with his chainsaw, spraying gore everywhere, while shooting another in the head. Jack fired his Heater and 38. Special into the horde, chewing on a toothpick.
    Erwin held the MP5 subgun sideways. "Chinese Bandit Shooting, bitches!"
    He used the recoil of the gun to sweep the horde, cutting down several zombies. But one of them grabbed him, jamming its thumb into his wound and causing it to spurt blood. He screamed in pain as he bashed the barrel of the MP5 into the zombie's eye.
    He pulled the trigger, blowing out the back of its skull.
    Patrick cut through the zombies to get to Hermione. And then he got dragged down. Oh shit, this is how I'm gonna die.
   
A sickly green light filled his vision as it hit Krueger. He grunted...and didn't fall to the ground. It took Patrick several seconds to realize that Hermione, pushed to her limits, cast the Killing Curse. And it failed to do anything to Freddy Krueger.
    Suddenly, a door appeared out of nowhere and it opened. What the hell-
   
A deep sounding shotgun blast echoed throughout the demolished store as an old, ponytailed man with a receding hairline and an ice cream vendor suit with a black vest, holding a quad barrelled shotgun and wearing a bag on his back, walked through the door that appeared out of thin air. The zombies that held Patrick down collapsed, shot by the ice cream vendor.
    "What the hell...what is even-"
    Ash interrupted the ice cream vendor. "Hey, if you're not too busy jerking around, how about a little help?"
    The ice cream vendor quickly reloaded his awesome weapon and moved out of the way. "Listen, we have to close that door quick or the Tall Man will come through!"
    Ash, cleaving a zombie head with his chainsaw, said, "Well that's interesting, old timer, and all but I don't have time to hear about your friend's height-"
    The ice cream vendor cut him off as he fired his quad shotgun at the zombies, knocking a whole bunch back. "The name is Reggie and the Tall Man ain't no friend of mine and he's gonna rain on everyone's parade if that door isn't-"
    A tall, imposing pale man in a black suit walked through the door where Reggie the ice cream vendor, who said shit, had walked through. He may have looked extremely old but there was something immediately off about him. The zombies backed away from him and everyone went quiet. He scanned the wrecked store before his eyes landed on Reggie. In a cold voice full of malevolence, he said, "You have something that belongs to me."
    "The hell you say, I'm not letting you get Mike, you sonofabitch!" Reggie shouted, the bag on his back quivering. "You're not-"
    "It's okay, Reg, just let me go and you'll be safe." The voice came from the bag. Reggie unshouldered the bag and opened it. A golden sphere the size of a softball floated out.
    "Mike, I'm not letting that Tall Bastard get a hold of you. You can make it, we can make it." Reggie's voice wavered, on the verge of a breakdown.
    "Reg, you have to let go. Live to fight another day. Maybe even move on and start a new family." The sphere said
    "Mike, I can't because you're the only family I got." Now Reggie started crying. The sphere started to float away from him. Reggie pointed his quad shotgun at the Tall Man.
    "Reggie, don't do this." The sphere floated towards the Tall Man's face. "I won't go unless you take that guy away from here. That's the least you can do for the people here."
    The Tall Man looked straight at Freddy Krueger. The boogeyman stared back, holding his claws up.
    "Now why would you think I would do that, Michael?"
    "You forced me to do this." The golden sphere zipped towards Freddy, a high pitched whirring noise echoing in the store, as it jammed itself right in his mouth. It shifted its form as small blades jutted out and shredded his mouth and made its way into his throat. Hermione put a hand over her mouth and the others looked away in disgust. Ash merely said, "Well that's just gross."
    The Tall Man made a motion with his hand and several other spheres, their color in silver, flew out of the door and towards Krueger. The silver spheres popped wicked looking claws and penetrated all over Freddy's body. Then drills popped from the spheres and started digging into his flesh. Freddy's screams of pain were choked off due to the golden sphere stuck in his throat, shredding his vocal cords, as the silver spheres lifted him and took him through the doorway as The Tall Man followed.
    The door slammed and vanished into thin air.
    The zombies all fell down, having lost their master.
    Erwin was lying down on the linoleum floor, groaning in pain he put his hand on his shoulder, his wound was open again.
    Jack Deth took out a carton of cigarettes and lit one up.
    Reggie sobbed as he sat on the floor, his weapon next to him.
    Hermione standing around, hands on her head, breathing out loud in relief.
    Patrick getting up and flicking the wakizashi of its blood, shaking from the adrenaline overload.
    Ash shrugging and killing his chainsaw as it sputtered before saying, "Well, that happened."
    A piece of the ceiling fell down and crashed against the wrecked chopper.

***

    Hermione had apparated all of them out of the now demolished Allmart, to avoid witnesses and police questioning. Erwin called for a ride as Hermione healed his wound completely.
    "No, we need two cars. We got more company. Yeah, Patrick decided to be a retard and-ow!" Hermione had lightly smacked the back of his head.
    "Maybe you should cut him some slack, Erwin. He may have bollocksed the whole thing up but at least he tried salvaging the situation." Hermione turned to Patrick as he held the wakizashi, sheathed in its crimson scabbard, giving him a look that was a mixture of gratitude and mock annoyance. "What am I going to do with you, Patrick?"
    "I don't know but you'll think of something," Patrick said as he grimaced a bit. Ash looked over and commented. "Yeah, you'll be feeling THAT in the morning. Live it up, kiddo."
    Ash walked over to Reggie. "Hey, I'm sorry you lost your friend who happened to be a floating sphere thingy."
    "Uh thanks. He wasn't always like that but the Tall Man made him that way. I'm gonna find him, kill the Tall Man, and save Mike." Reggie looked at him and said, "Didn't catch your name."
    "It's Ash. Ash Williams. So that Tall Dude must be a real piece of work."
    Reggie looked at the sunset, the sky turning purplish and golden. "You have no idea, man."
    Jack Deth just stood around smoking his cigarette. Patrick came over to him. "Hey, uh, Mr. Deth. I just want to thank-"
    Jack turned on him. "Listen here, squid, I just found out that my life has been nothing but a made up dream and that I'm a fictional creation. The fact that I'm the hero of my own story? What a joke. I've never stuck out my neck for nobody and I've killed too many people to be considered a hero."
    "If that's the case, then why didn't you refuse?" Patrick wiped his nose. Jack shrugged. "I figured you guys don't need a Trancer infestation running around in your dimension."
    "Bullshit, you did it because it was the right thing and you know it."
    "Scram before I change my mind and singe you." Patrick held up his hands and backed away.
    When Erwin's friends, Irwin and Tommy, came by in their truck and muscle car, the group drove to Brian's house.
    Patrick, sighing to himself as he sat in the muscle car with Tommy, thinking that he, Erwin, and Hermione had been caught on camera. Sooner or later, the cops are gonna arrest us and we'll be thrown in jail...well, me and Erwin. Hermione will probably just disappear again.
   
When they got to Brian's house at the edge of Escondido, Patrick was the first through the door. "Uh, Brian, here's the thing. We have more-"
    Patrick didn't get to finish his sentence as a velociraptor leapt on him and knocked him down. Patrick screamed like a little girl as the raptor started to lick face like a dog.
    Irwin, Patrick's other friend who had a similar sounding name but the complete opposite of Erwin's personality, snapped at his pet raptor. "Hey! What did I tell you about guests, Thor? Get off. Go on, scat!"
    The raptor looked up at Irwin and snarled. Irwin grabbed Thor's snout. "No. NO. Go play in the backyard."
    The raptor got off Patrick and went out the back. Irwin helped Patrick up. "Sorry, Patrick. I told Rocky to keep an eye on Thor but apparently he was too busy practicing his boxing. Again."
    As if on cue, Rocky Balboa walked into the living room. "Hey Patrick, how you doin'? Listen, Irwin, I know you told me to keep an eye on Thor but the guy is always moving, y'know how it is. Who's that?"
    Rocky referred to the guests, Ash, Reggie, and Jack, walking through the front door and crashing on the couch. Rocky's face lit up as he recognized Hermione. "Hey Hermione is back! C'mere, let's have a hug."
    Hermione smiled as they hugged. "Good to see you too, Mr. Balboa."
    Rocky laughed. "Please, call me Rocky. I've missed ya."
    "All right, Rocky. I've missed you too."
    She excused herself and went to the bathroom. Rocky patted Patrick on the back. "See, I told you she'd come back, didn't I?"
    Patrick nervously chuckled. "Yeah, yeah you did, Rocky."
    Brian, a portly black dude, came from his room. "Dude, I saw you guys all over the news. That was some crazy shit!"
    Erwin, who rubbed his newly healed shoulder, said, "Yeah, and this day would have been fine if this re-if Patrick here hadn't followed his head, if you know what I mean."
    Patrick coughed out loud. "Erwin, you really need to uh keep your mouth shut, man."
    Ash spoke up. "Ah, relax kiddo, everyone can see how you feel about that hot witch. Personally, she's a bit too young for me but she's definitely got eyes for you."
    Patrick smiled. "You think?"
    Ash broke out into laughter. "Oh hell no, I was just yanking your chain. She is way outta your league, man. Just...no."
    Even Jack chuckled and Reggie smiled a bit, his thoughts somewhere else. Patrick's face burned from the embarrassment. Later that evening, Patrick and Rocky stood on the backyard patio. Rocky was drinking a beer and Patrick sipping his root beer.
    "Is it really that obvious, Rocky? I mean, I've only told you."
    "The way I see it, Patrick, you either tell her how you feel or you don't. Just go for it. The worse that can happen is that she turns you down."
    Patrick sighed. "That's what I'm afraid of."
    "It ain't the end of the world if she says no. Just means it ain't gonna happen." Rocky took a swig from his beer.
    "Well, the world almost ended today and I almost died without telling her."
    Rocky looked up at the stars. "Kid, some bad folks up there, in the dark spaces between the stars. They are planning to hurt us in ways that we can't even imagine. But for now, we're together and there ain't nothing that can slow us down."
    Patrick sipped his root beer again. "You're right, Rocky. Thanks for the advice. I think I know what to do now."
    He went inside to find Hermione, filled with a new purpose. Rocky looked up at the night sky. "Any time, kid. Any time.
    And then Rocky went inside the house.

Macross Plus - Voices

Bob Skaaren, on his sixth day of awakening, looked up in the blue sky as the F-1400 Blackcat streaked towards the atmosphere; the sight made his heart soar up as high as the starfighter went. It disappeared into sky, going wherever the Kobayashi Kingdom sent it, as its twin-engines roar faded into the distance. His father's hand fell on his shoulder, chuckling, as the hanger crew made preparations for the next launch.

"You don't have the words to describe it, right? That's all right, son, I don't either," said Commander Alfred Skaaren, a Blackcat pilot himself.

"Father, I want to be an aviator like them. Like you!" Bob beamed up towards the giant of man that his father was; his father tousled his hair as he smiled.

"One day, my boy, when you grow up and you study hard at your mathematics lesson, you'll be up there with me."

At this the boy faced the ground. "But I'm no good at my lessons. All the other children make fun of me because they know I'm stupid and they'll be in the fleet academy!"

His father grunted. "Now listen to me, Robert. Don't mind what the others say. I don't want to hear that sort of talk ever again. You're a Skaaren. We're warriors, not like those Federation cowards!"

Bob looked up at him, eyes filled with pride, even though deep down the boy doubted himself; yet he had to keep up a strong face for his father. "Yes, father. I am a Skaaren!"

Alfred made his warrior face, like he always did with his son whenever he regaled him with tales of their family's military service. He put on his instructor's voice. "YOU'RE A SKAAREN AND WHAT ELSE?"

His son put himself at attention and shouted as loud as a child in his sixth year could. "I am a Skaaren and damn proud of it!"

"LOUDER."

"I AM A SKAAREN AND DAMN PROUD OF IT!"

"GOOD!" Alfred then softened his features and smiled. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were ready for service."

"Really?! Oh, could mother not know I cursed though?"

Bob nearly jumped as his father's laughter boomed in the hangar. "It'll be between the two of us."

The speakers called out for Alfred that his Blackcat was ready. "Well, I've got to go, son. Wish me luck, eh?"

***

Alfred's aide stood by Bob, trying to keep the boy in his sight, in the control room. Bob watched through the windows, catching his father's Blackcat. The Blackcat's twin-engines roared as it sped down the runway and lifted off, going up in the air. It went so far away that it became a tiny speck. Bob muttered under his breath. "I'll go up there with you, father. Some day."

***

That day never came and Bob grew up into a young man with a lousy score in the fleet academy; he flunked and to save face, Bob enlisted in the Kingdom's Infantry, becoming a Doomgunner. He stayed at the rank of a lowly private, failing promotions, and bringing shame to his family, to his father.

It was a time of warfare and destruction; Of adventure; of Bounty Killers and Insurrectionists. The Kobayashi Kingdom sought extermination of the Federation. Several Kobayashi colonies had turn to the side of the Federation, rebelling against the tyranny of King Kobayashi. The war raged on several worlds, from the humid jungles of Vysskran to the icy tundras of Delta V; to the scorching dunes of Raurava, where an excavation for powerful relics that were known, only in legends and whispers, to hold the secrets of the universe. King Kobayashi's keen interest in such matters was known among the royal court, rumors abounding that he had partaken in forbidden rituals for power. He enforced his rule with his Space Armada, Doomgunners, and the elite Shadow Samurai, who were ruthless and merciless under the leadership of Lord Akira, a Shadow Samurai more machine than man if he was ever a man to begin with, wielding powers of the Ki.

A prophecy has been foretold that the Chosen One, bringer of death and destruction and doom, will yield to whoever takes control of them. A devastating weapon that King Kobayashi is willing to destroy worlds and go to the ends of the universe to find it. Now on a mission from King Kobayashi, Lord Akira has taken a task force of Kobayashi Hellships on the way to Raurava, where Private Bob Skaaren, along with his war buddy Private Jeff Fraker is stationed with his platoon, not knowing of the impending rebel assault on the base during a blistering sandstorm....

***

"I'll never forgive you for killing my husband, Kobayashi scum!" Zara the guerilla fighter spat at the two prisoners before her, laser pistol aimed squarely at them. Bob and Fraker were held prisoner at the insurgent base, a network of caves, the two Doomgunners were now at the mercy of the redheaded woman swathed in fatigues with a keffiyeh wrapped around her head.

"No, Zara, you must wait! We need them alive for information." Bakanda said. A towering, brown cat humanoid with bright green eyes wielding a stolen Zeta 100 Rifle, he cut an imposing figure. Silently cursing, she holstered the pistol and stormed out.

"Gee, thanks, I thought we were goners for su-." Fraker said but he was cut off by Bakanda hitting him in the gut with the rifle butt.

"Don't thank me, you worthless drone! I just follow orders. And right now the orders are to keep you alive."

Fraker held his stomach as he lied down in the fetal position. "You got my everlasting gratitude, guy."

Bob kept quiet as Bakanda escorted them through a series of tunnels. They turned around and found themselves walking through a massive excavation of an ancient, underground temple. The workers were carrying a sarcophagus out of the entrance of the ancient temple. Bob looked agape as he whispered to Fraker.

"Hey, ya see-"

"Yep, just realized that our guys have been-"

"Digging in the wrong place," Bob said in unison with Fraker. Bakanda shouted at them to stay silent. They left the massive cavern, walking through another tunnel, and into a smaller cave. An older man in his fortieth years stood there along with another man in his thirtieth years.

"I don't believe it! Arkad, the leader of the resistance!" Fraker exclaimed, before Bakanda struck the back of his legs, causing him to collapse.

Bob didn't look at Arkad but at the man in his thirtieth years. He had synthetic, glowing red eye. And Bob recognized him. Drako, second in command to Arkad and responsible for many of the atrocities committed by the insurgents.

"Let us begin our 'interrogation' of these scum," Drako said, as he pulled out a wicked looking blade, waving it closer to Fraker's face....

***

Bob and Fraker held Arkad, Zara, and Arkad hostage with their Zeta 100 rifles. Having overpowered and killed the sadistic Drako, they talked with each other on how to escape.

"I say we kill em and sneak out," said Fraker before Bob thought of a better idea.

"Naw, I'm fed up with how this war's been going. Let's take em with us as hostages, swipe some disguises, and take what they dug out somewhere." Bob smirked as he motioned for the hostages to move....

***

"One hundred thousand gil. Fifty when we leave and the other fifty when get to the destination. Those are my terms." Cid Wolf said as he kept on eye out for Jub-Jub Basks, who was looking for him. Cid had an eyepatch over his right eye, a bomber jacket, and he had an amused air about him. Zara and Bob were sitting at the table in a bar, filled with all sorts of characters. A group of snake humanoids sang a song in their dialect while two sluggs argued about who would pick up the tab. The band, a bunch of cyclops with strange instruments, played the same song again. Two cat humanoids smoked from a hookah, their tails moving back and forth.

Bob had decided to take Zara along in case Bakanda and Arkad tried anything funny. After dodging the slaughter by Lord Akira and his Shadow Samurai, who wanted no witnesses at the temple, he was taking no chances. He asked the prisoners what the sarcophagus was all about but they were in the dark as he was.

An old man with steel gray hair, clad in faded crimson robes, drinking from his jug that hung from his belt as he sat at the bar.

"That's preposterous! You can't just-" Bob said but Cid cut him off by raising his hand.

"Hey, kid, you're asking me to go through Kobayashi fleet. I was being generous but since you complained, the price is now up to one-fifty."

"But-"

"Two hundred. I'm not a charity case."

Zara merely said, "If we find the money, you'll do it? No questions asked?"

Cid Wolf looked at her with some amusement. "Sure."

At this moment, the old man with the crimson robes and jug sat at the table. "I couldn't help but overhear that you young folks were in need of some gil. Would it help if I paid for the trip?"

Cid looked at the old man before saying, "Get lost, old geezer, and stay out of business that doesn't concern you."

The old man reached into his robes. Cid, who had his Mawzer pistol aimed at the boy and girl, switched it towards the old man.

The old man pulled out one hundred thousand gil and laid it on the table. "I'm willing to pay not only for my passage but for the young couple here as well. You'll get the other half when we get to wherever it is they're supposed to go."

Cid laughed as he pocketed the gil. "I like you old-timer. You guys meet me over in Sector No. 7, where my Star Hawk is parked."

Zara spoke up, "Thank you for kindness and generosity, sir. What name do you go by?"

The old man chuckled as he scratched his beard. "The name's Noo."

"Huh, that's-"

"Pretty silly, I know, but it was the one I was given. Now I may not know your names but I do know you're part of the resistance. Oh, don't act so shocked, I can tell most things. Just like how this gentleman here has been aiming his weapon at me this whole time. Would you mind if I stayed with you at the inn? I've nowhere to go and I won't tell anyone your secret."

Cid laughed as Zara and Bob looked stunned. "Now I really do like you, old-timer!"

As Zara, Bob, and Noo left, Cid was about to leave when Jub-Jub Basks, a fishlike being with an annoying guttural voice and a big double barrelled scatter pistol pointed at him, sat down at the table. "Heya Cid Jub! Slooper been really impatient with your payments coming up late Jub! I come to collect the gil Jub!"

Cid grunted as he replied, "Tell Slooper to wait, will ya? It'll come eventually."

"No Jub! I come to collect gil on your head Jub! You're worth a lot of gil dead or alive and I don't really want to look over my back with you alive Jub! So I'll just have to settle for the bad smell of your dead body Jub!"

Cid fired his Mawzer pistol into Jub-Jub's belly, splattering green goo all over the bar's wall, as Jub-Jub fell over and flopped dead. The bartender, an ant with one antenna, shrieked in its native language about the mess being made. Cid simply tossed him a few thousand gil on his way out and apologized for the mess....

***

The Star Hawk, a triangular stealthship that looked past its prime, zipped through the asteroid field, as the group contemplated on how to open the sarcophagus.

"Does anyone know how to read the inscriptions here on the lid. I can't make heads or tails of it. What about you, old-timer?" Fraker said before a beeping noise startled him. Devo-80, a silvery sphere synthetic, floated around. Bakanda snarled which caused the sphere to hide behind Zara, trembling in fear.

"That there's Devo-80. He's a harmless little fella," Cid said as he wiped grime from his face, "Whew, the engine is giving one of its fits but it'll get us through."

Noo, dozing off, didn't hear what Fraker or Cid said..

Fraker shouted at him. "Hey old-timer, wake up!"

Noo woke up with a snort and gave Fraker an annoyed look. "Whaddaya want, you punk?"

"We want you to read what it says on the sarcophagus here."

Noo glared at him as he scratched his beard. "I may be old but I am not a fossil."

Zara giggled as Devo-80 played some music. Cid looked at the sarcophagus and grunted. "Have you guys tried giving it a love tap yet?"

Bob looked puzzled. "No, why would we-"

Cid gave it a good, hard kick. "Open up, stupid!"

Arkad looked aghast. "You fool, stop that kicking! It's the ultimate weapon and we don't know how it'll react."

As if on cue, the sarcophagus hissed open and cool air drifted from it.

Bob, Fraker, Bakanda, and Zara took cover behind some furniture. Arkad collapsed to his knees, gasping. Noo merely yawned.

A pale hand reached into the air, followed by a waifish woman in her twentieth years. She looked very exhausted and blinked several times.

"Where am I?" She asked. "Who am I?"

Cid grunted. "You guys didn't tell me you were slavers! I don't do business with slavers."

He unholstered his Mawzer pistol before a flash appeared below his neck, as the beam katana simmered in the air.

"I wouldn't do anything rash, sonny, now put away that thing of yours. We're not slavers," Noo said as he held his beam katana close to Cid's neck.

"A ronin? Gee, first a slave and now a ronin. What a day." Cid holstered his Mawzer and sighed. "Well, things couldn't get any wor-"

The ship's alarm sounded off as Blackcats fired at the Star Hawk.

"Damn! I had to say it, didn't I!" Cid snapped as he ran to the cockpit. "Fraker, Bob, and Zara, get to the gunners and shoot those bastards!"

Zara got most of them, Fraker got three, and Bob got none until he saw the last Blackcat wander in his HUD. Aiming the laser cannon, Bob was taken aback as he recognized his father's Blackcat! "I can't shoot...I can't."

"He seems to be doing it without any compunction, Bob! Take the shot!" Zara snapped. But Bob couldn't so he decided to wing it. The Blackcat easily dodged it and then flew off.

"Bob, it'll come back with reinforcements. Why didn't you shoot, dammit!?" Zara grilled him and Bob retorted.

"He's my father!" Bob wept as he looked down at his feet. Zara said nothing and left him alone....

***

After a harrowing escape, they discovered that their destination, the resistance star base, was nowhere to be found. Cid fiddled with the radar to see if he could find it but so far, he couldn't find jack and shit. Meanwhile, Devo-80 shined a little red dot on the wall every time Bakanda passed and Bakanda leapt at the wall to catch it, only to be confused that he could never grab it.

The strange girl was with Cid in the cockpit, pestering him with all sorts of questions.

"Who are you?" She asked.

"Cid." He replied.

"What do you do?"

"Bounty killing. I catch bad people, kill them, and bring their bodies back for a hefty amount of gil."

"What do you mean 'kill'?"

Cid tried figuring out how to reply before saying, "They go to sleep forever."

"Do all of them want to sleep forever?"

"No."

"Then why do you do it?"

"Gil."

"What's that?"

"What keeps the universe moving."

"That's not true. I know what makes the universe move. It's the Ki from everyone." Cid chuckled at the reply as he turned towards the girl. "You really don't believe in that?"

"I do. Your Ki is very low though."

Cid laughed out loud at this. "Of course it is! Because I'm an unbeliever, right?"

"No, because you seal it away. Perhaps you lost someone close to you."

Cid glared and snapped at her. "How do you-"

The strange girl spoke in a familiar voice, that belonged to a woman he loved a long time ago. "Cid, how many times have I told you to stop going so fast on your Star Hawk? You'll get yourself killed, ya dummy."

Cid grabbed her shoulders and yelled at her. "Who are you, dammit?!"

Bakanda sauntered in and spoke in a low voice. "Let her go, Bounty Killer."

Cid let her go, a sad expression on his face.

"I am sorry I did that, I didn't mean to-" The strange girl didn't finish as Cid cut her off.

"Get out. Please, just leave me alone." And with that, he slumped into his seat....

***

Noo paced back and forth as he lectured Bob on how to use the beam katana, a spare one he had. "No no no no NO. You're doing it wrong. Like this!"

Noo opened his beam katana up and slashed the air smoothly, cutting the three berries that Zara had thrown. She looked on with an amused expression as Bob slashed the erratically.

"Aw nuts, lemme try again, okay?" Bob said as he lowered his beam katana. Noo sighed as though he had an entire planet on his shoulders.

"Fine. Again."

Bob concentrated as he raised his beam katana into the offensive stance. Noo had taken to teaching Bob how to be a ronin because Noo said he was bored and Bob seemed like a good test dummy or apprentice or something.

"Okay, Zara, chuck em again." Zara chucked three more berries and Bob sliced all three.

"Hey I got it! Ow, why did ya hit me on the head for?" Bob rubbed his head where Noo tapped him with the hilt.

"You still have a ways to go, you rube. Keep slicing." Noo said as he scratched his beard.

Later on, Cid was teaching Bob how to fly the Star Hawk.

"Okay, and what's this button do?" Bob pointed at the big red button. Cid smacked Bob's hand away from there.

"That's the button that grows flowers. What do you think, bozo!"

"I think it doesn't make flowers...."

Cid smirked. "You catch on quick. Remember kid, it's all about instincts. Now try not to hit that asteroid."

Bob only clipped it as Cid chewed him out for it....

***

"What do we call ya?" Fraker said as they ate their meal. Arkad grunted, stuffing his face.

"It doesn't matter, she's an ultimate weapon and as such she really doesn't need a name."

Zara looked at him with surprise. "That's a little insensitive, don't you think? We don't even know if she really is."

Arkad shrugged. "We have a mission and that is to get our hands on an ultimate weapon and keep it away from that mad king."

"Fine. In the mean time, I'll call her Tina." Zara replied angrily.

"I like it."

The group turned to see that the strange girl, Tina, stood at the entrance of the dining room. "I think it fits."

Cid merely drank from his flask and ignored the others, sitting by himself, as Noo came up to him. "Hey sonny, I've been meaning to ask ya favor."

"Gonna cost you."

Noo scratched his beard. "Had a feeling you'd say that. Here's what I had in mind."

And Noo told Cid his plan....

***

"Traitor! You sneaked through all of those traps and chases, only to bring us to their base?! Why?" Zara spat at Cid as he received his bounty on the group. Noo was nowhere to be found, hidden away somewhere on the Fortress Noir, a massive flying fortress that looked like a moon and armed with a planet cracker.

"Just doing my job, sister. Nothin' against you." Cid said as he started to board his magnificent Star Hawk. Lord Akira, clad in his black Shadow Samurai armor, wearing a grinning black skull mask over his face, waved for the Doomgunners to escort the prisoners to the execution room. He was brutally honest about what happened to their base.

"We destroyed your resistance base with our mighty cannon. Now you have no hope. Where is the other one?" Lord Akira said in his deep, robotic voice.

"What other guy? What you see is what you get," Cid said as he counted his gil, "I delivered them here. If you lost one, then that's on you."

Lord Akira, towering over Cid, leaned in and said, "Find them. And you will be compensated greatly!"

"Nope. Go do it yourself. We had a deal and it's done now." Lord Akira could use his Ki to strangle this insolent fool but as insufferable as he was, the man had a point.

"Very well then. You may leave. Alive." Lord Akira turned around, sweeping his cloak, as black as the night, and headed for security room to find Noo on the surveillance systems.

"I'm sorry to see you go away so soon, mister. Good-bye." Tina said as Cid looked away. He couldn't bring himself to face her....

***

"What are you doing?" Tina asked as the scientists strapped her into a pod. They ignored her and shut it close. The scientists then pressed a button on a control panel and Tina felt like she was on fire.

"Why are you doing this?" Tina said but they simply increased the agony until she could no longer support it. Just then Noo barged in, brandishing his beam katana. A Doomgunner, clad in body armor and a helmet with trifocal goggles, opened fire but he was too slow. Noo bifurcated him and deflected a laser blast from the other Doomgunner back at him, the blast piercing his skull. The scientists cowered in fear as Noo ordered them. "Let her go."

They deactivated the control panels but Tina, shrieking in agony, blew apart her pod and floated out, glowing with the power of infinite suns. She vaporized the scientists and nearly did the same to Noo only for him to dodge the blast.

"Please Tina, it's me, Noo, calm down!" Noo yelled out as he shielded his eyes from her awesome power. Tina's glow faded and then she passed out, falling into Noo's arms. "Alright, Devo-80, look for Bob and the others. Unlock the cells and direct them to the docking bay! Hurry, we mustn't lose time."

Devo-80 flew from his robes and towards the control panel, linked to it, and found out where the group was being held....

***

"Cid?! What are you doing here? I thought you betrayed us!" Bob said as the forcefields shut down, freeing them. Cid just shrugged.

"It's part of Noo's plan. There's a traitor in our group and it ain't yours truly. Now, we gotta bail this place before the Doomgunners find us."

Cid tossed Zara's Dezzer Pistol and she immediately aimed it at Cid.

"What are you-" Cid didn't finish as Zara fired her pistol, killing two Doomgunners behind him. She smirked at him.

"Caught you off guard, didn't I?"

Cid just laughed as Bob, Zara, Fraker, and Bakanda left. Arkad was nowhere to be found....

***

Cid fired his Mawzer pistol, keeping Tina behind him, at the Doomgunners firing back as Bakanda had his back with the Zeta 100 rifle spewing a constant stream of lasers that it looked like a solid beam of light. Bob, Zara, and Fraker made a mad dash to the Star Hawk, nearly getting hit by lasers. Noo was locked in a fierce fight with Lord Akira, their beam katanas making crackling noises as they collided with one another.

"So, I should have known you were behind this, Lord Susanoo!" Lord Akira said as he deflected a blow from Noo.

"That man exists no more. I lost the right to be called Lord as soon as you, my former pupil, corrupted the Ki. If only I wasn't such a stubborn, hard headed fool back in my youth, I wouldn't have let you run amok with power." Noo parried and attempted to hit Lord Akira's blindside but the Shadow Samurai was too quick and countered before impaling Noo right through the heart.

Bob yelled out in horror as Noo, formerly Lord Susanoo, fell to the floor of the docking bay. Bakanda had to restrain him. "We have to go now! There is nothing we can do!"

Fraker was barely in his seat when Cid jump started the Star Hawk, blasting his way out.

Later on, when they had made good on their escape, Fraker, Bob, Zara, and Tina were sitting in the rec room. Bakanda and Cid were in the cockpit. Zara spoke up first.

"I am so sorry, Bob, I knew how close you were with Noo."

Tina chimed in. "He was a kind man. He may have been extreme in letting us get caught but I forgive him for that."

"I'm a disgrace to my family's honor, I've taken the lives of too many innocents, and I lost the closest person I could call a father after my real one disowned me," Bob said, breaking down in tears. Tina patted him on the back to comfort him. Cid walked into the room.

"For what its worth, kid, I'm sorry it turned out this way." Cid said before an alarm sounded out that several Starcat fighters were on their tail.

"We got company! Quick, man the gunners, Bob and Fraker, we haven't much time!" Cid barked as he ran back to the cockpit.

"Sheesh, guy likes giving orders a lot!" Fraker snarked as he operated the gunner, blasting the fighters into smithereens. Suddenly, a familiar Starcat showed in Bob's HUD; it was his father.

"No! I can't open fire on my father!" Bob shouted before the Star Hawk rumbled from the blasts impacting it.

"Bob, your dad doesn't seem to have the same issue shooting at us!" Fraker replied, firing back.

"Damn!" Bob fired in the general direction of his father, not really aiming at him, forcing him to evade....

***

They made good on their escape, reaching the secondary base of the resistance forces. But Bob and Fraker were taken prisoner again. Zara vouched for them, as did Cid and Bakanda.

"Isn't that swell, their reward for bringing you guys alive is an execution the next day." Cid snarled as he went towards his Star Hawk, Tina following him.

"Cid, where are you going?! Your friends need your help-"

Cid turned on her and snapped. "Listen, sister, this isn't my fight. I got you guys through and that was it. I don't stick out my neck for anyone."

Missy, on the verge of tears, replied, "So that's how it is then? You just don't care about anything!"

Cid nodded and started to board. "Yep. It'll only hurt more in the long run."

"You don't mean that. You're only afraid of hurting yourself. Cid, when will you learn that it wasn't your fault!" Tina cried out but Cid waved her away. "She forgave you."

Cid stopped in his track. He didn't turn around. "What do you know."

"That she wants you to move on and that the accident wasn't your fault. Cid, please...don't go." Tina said as she started to cry.

Cid sighed and then he boarded the Star Hawk, leaving Tina alone in the hangar....

***

The base had come under fire from a bombing raid and they would not survive another. Fraker and Bob were in their cells when a familiar face showed up. Arkad the traitor, pointing his pistol at them.

"Well well, if it isn't the two idiots. I'm afraid I can't let you and Zara live now that you know my secret." He aimed at Fraker and a laser blast echoed in the corridor. He flinched, grabbing at himself, before realizing he hadn't been shot as Arkad fell down. Zara stood in the entrance, smoke drifting from the barrel of her pistol. She told the other resistance members who were present that Bob and Fraker were on their side and that the leader of the resistance was betraying them all along. The two friends were released and they would have celebrated except that the Fortress Noir Cannon was preparing to fire a shot at their base, to wipe out the resistance in one fell swoop!

The resistance decided to recruit them, to fly the stolen Blackcats along with the squadron.

"Since we're short a few pilots, how about you go with us?" A resistance member said as he walked to his Blackcat, Bob following along. Bob hesitated since he barely remembered what Cid taught him. Remember kid, it's all about instincts. But he made up his mind.

"Count me in!" Bob said and they gave him an old clunker of a Blackcat. A briefing followed, as the pilots were given a the schematics on the weakpoints of the Fortress Noir. Bob gulped as he realized that he would have no chance at all to even fire a clear shot due to the lack of his skills and it being a one in a million chance....

***

The resistance squadron flew towards the Fortress Noir but it was too late, as the planet cracker cannon fired a gigantic beam at the base, wiping out most of the squadron in the blast, and it would have blown the planet up except that the beam was stopped by an invisible wall around the planet. At the resistance base, Zara was taken aback as Tina floated in the air, glowing so brightly as she used her immense power to stave off the onslaught. After the beam dissipated, she collapsed. Breathing heavily, she said, "I cannot do that again. It's up to Bob and Fraker to stop it from firing again."

Back in space, Bob, Fraker, and what remained of the squadron were fighting against overwhelming odds as the Lightning Claw Squadron began to demolish them.

And it was down to Bob and Fraker, making the trench run through the massive fortress, when Commander Alfred Skaaren blasted Fraker.

"Damn, Bob, looks like I'm not gonna make it. Tell my wife and son that I loved them," Fraker said before blowing up into smithereens.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Father, how could you do this?!" Bob shouted through the comms, barely dodging his father's blasts.

"He would have done the same. And now I have you in my sights!" His father said as he lined up the shot on his son's Blackcat...only to hesitate. He couldn't bring himself to kill his only son. Who had grown up to be a proud warrior.

"Go ahead, Father, but I am not going to let you stop me," Bob said as he tried maneuvering out of the way. Alfred chuckled as he heard this.

"You really are your father's son. Will you forgive an old bastard for being foolish enough to not recognize his own son's bravery?"

Bob fought back tears as he replied, "Yeah, all I ever wanted from you was to be proud of me."

Alfred shielded his son's Blackcat by flying close to it, obstructing any clear shot his squadron had. There was only silence as father and son flew side by side together.

"My pride blinded me, Bob. I've always been proud of you."

And then Alfred's starfighter was shot down. Bob cried out as Lord Akira, in his Blackcat, fired another shot at Alfred's starfighter.

The comms abruptly shut down between them.

Lord Akira had a lock on Bob's starfighter and he was about to take the shot.

"Your victory is short lived, traitor, now I-" Lord Akira was cut off by Cid and Bakanda swooping in with the Star Hawk, dogging Lord Akira's black Starcat with laser fire.

"Take the shot, kid!" Cid shouted as Lord Akira's black Starcat spun out of control, flying away in space.

This is for you, father, Bob thought as he fired his payload at Fortress Noir's weak point. The Blackcat and Star Hawk both flew away as Fortress Noir exploded in a kaleidoscope of sound and fury....

***

Patrick had already seen the award ceremony several times before. He was sitting on the living room floor with his cousin Al as they finished watching The Jillucian Wars Episode I: A New Light. The two kids had just finished the movie as the snow fell in droves outside of the house. Patrick's Mom had brought him and his sister to Kansas after leaving his Dad. He was under the impression that they were all on vacation until he started school there. He missed his Dad and thought his Mom was acting unfair towards him.

Anyway, Patrick knew how it would all end.

How Robert Skaaren, now high up in the chain of command in the resistance, received the medal for both him and Jeffrey Fraker; Zara Taslim, looking pretty in her dress as she threw a glance towards Bob that wasn't hateful but soft; Cid Wolf fidgeting in his tight fitting uniform as he stood around uncomfortable; Bakanda the cat humanoid purring in pleasure as Tina scratched behind his ears as she gave a knowing smile at Cid; the fanfare playing over the credits as the movie wrapped up.

He knew that in Episode II, the party would be broken up and Bob would lose his first duel against Lord Akira due to his impatience with the training from Lord Zangar; Bob would be rescued by his friends at the end; they would have to go rescue Cid from the dungeon of Slooper the Slugg in Episode III and Cid would eventually defeat Lord Akira to redeem the cyborg Shadow Samurai from going further down the path of ruin; King Kobayashi would be slain by Lord Akira himself after Lord Akira expends his last bit of life; and in the end, Bob would marry Zara, Cid with Tina, and Bakanda and Devo-80 would look all happy from the sidelines.

He knew of all the fantastic adventures, their devastating defeats and tragedy; their greatest triumphs and redemption; and of their despair and hope they would have.

Patrick knew all of that because he'd seen all of the movies before. His Mom and Aunt called to the kids that dinner was ready and they left for the dining room. Patrick lingered in the room for a bit before saying, "Merry Christmas, Dad."

And then he went to the dining room as the snow kept falling outside.

Macross Plus - Voices

Ronin's Fanwank



Author's note: I'm gonna warn you right now that in this fanfic, a bunch of characters will be mostly OOC, a possible Jerk Stu and everything will be self-indulgent. Been wanting to write this for a while and this will form a basis for another story I'm working on. So, despite the flaws, I hope you enjoy the story.


    "...And? What happens next? Patrick, is this how you're ending the story?"
    The afternoon sun shone through the windows of the Carl's Jr., or as it's known in some places, Hardees, as a stack of papers sat on top of a table. The fast food restaurant was more or less empty save for a few customers. A pair of frustrated parents were dealing with their crying boy while they tried ordering their food. An old man in line looked at the display with so much contempt that he snapped at the kid to shut up. This led to an argument between the boy's parents and the old man. The stack of papers had some greasy fingerprints on them, having been touched by greasy hands, after handling greasy fries and a greasy burger. The ice cubes had started to melt into the medium sized sodas, watering down the taste.
    Erwin burped, causing a pair of teenage girls in the booth behind him to giggle obnoxiously. He ran out of napkins so he wiped his greasy hands on his black cargo pants. "So that's the ending then? His daughter dies?"
    Patrick whispered so low that his friend could barely hear him. "Uh, yeah, uh, his kid dies and that's the end."
    "What was that, bro, speak up." Erwin adjusted his glasses.
    "I said that yeah, he loses his daughter. Kind of a shocker ending, right?" Patrick almost grinned as he felt pretty proud of himself. He took a bite out of his burger.
    "So this also means Jack dies as well?
    "Huh?" Patrick sipped his root beer.
    "I mean, he's from the future and his daughter is his ancestor so yeah, he would cease to exist." Erwin shuffled the papers of Patrick's story together and slid them across the table. "Yeah, that's really bleak."
    "Yeah, it totally is but that's why I like it. Because there's no sappy bullshit happy ending. Because that's life, man-"
    "Jesus, not this again," Erwin sighed.
    "-and in real life, the hero doesn't get the girl, he doesn't kill all the bad guys, and he doesn't even save the day. Hell, he's probably not even a hero, more likely the villain! I mean, take a look at the world around us. What do you see? Pollution, war, famine, government corruption, genocide, and everything else self-destructive that humanity is so fucking good at doing. And nobody cares about any of that because they're so damn wrapped up in getting their next pay check or watching reality TV shows or the next big blockbuster comic book movie or celebs giving or getting blowjobs in public! Apathy! Everyone is so apathetic! So I say fuck it, I'm going to write something real. As real as it fucking gets."
    "Dude, you wrote a fanfiction about a time travelling cop from the future who kills zombies. There is nothing real about that. Also, you're paying the next meal."
    "Like hell I will. I'm saving up my cash."
    "Ha, what's this about people too focused on getting their next pay check now?" Erwin chuckled.
    "Okay, one, I don't have a bank account and a job and two, I'm gonna check out that Allmart over in San Marcos?"
    Erwin merely smirked. "Yeah, this movie, uh, wouldn't happen to be-"
    "It's not a porno so don't you start," Patrick retorted.
    "Also, 'Darkness never dies, no matter how many times you kill it'? The fuck kind of emo nonsense is that?" Erwin had pulled out his Nintendo 3DS and started playing a game on it. "You never did return my other 3DS you borrowed, by the way."
    Patrick cringed. He hadn't told Erwin yet that he busted the damn thing. "Um, I don't have it on me today but I will get it back to you day after tomorrow."
    Erwin grunted as he was immersed in the game. "You said that the last three times."
    Changing the subject, Patrick said, " Yeah, yeah, I promise this time I will. Okay, I guess when you uh say that line out loud, it does sound kind of...lame. I'll be sure to change it."
    "And another thing, dude, MP5's aren't machine guns, they're submachine guns. There's a huge difference. And you got a bunch of typos. And that twist where Jack's ex-wife is a trancer is really dumb. And-"
    "OKAY, I get the message, you really don't need to tell me every frickin' thing that's wrong with the story!" Patrick snapped a little too loudly as he tapped his left foot. The teens stopped giggling and stared at Erwin's and Patrick's table.
    "Hey, how about you relax. Can we not get kicked out again," Erwin said.
    Patrick, annoyed at the two girls staring at them, ignored him and said, "Why don't you mind your own business. Go back to talking about sucking Justin Bieber's cock or whatever it is you fucking idiots do these days."
    The two girls, on the verge of tears, immediately got up and left their table. Erwin kept silent for an uncomfortably long time before saying, "So, uh, what the fuck is your problem, man."
    "What, I just told them to mind their business. They had it coming," Patrick said as he shuffled in his seat.
    "You went off on them for no reason whatsoever. The way you've been acting has gotten us kicked out at other places. Seriously, what the fuck."
    "You fucking kidding me? Why aren't you seeing that they weren't minding their own business." Patrick's voice rose a bit higher and the other patrons were looking at them now.
    "Dude, you're making a scene. Lower your voice."
    Flustered, Patrick replied. "Don't tell me what to do. I hate it when you do that."
    "If you can't control yourself then I'm just gonna get up and leave like last time."
    Patrick sat there fuming. "Fine."
    "This shit has got to stop. Really." Erwin picked up his food tray to throw away his trash. "You need to have some sex, man. What about Emma Watson? Haven't you been hitting that sweet ass?"
    The old man, overhearing this and clearly disgusted, said, "Hey, you mind keeping it down, buddy?"
    Erwin ignored the old man and Patrick sighed as he endured the embarrassment from his friend. "Can you just not, man. And quit calling her that! She's not Emma Watson, dude. She fucking hates being called that and you know it."
    "She looks and sounds like Emma Watson. So I'm gonna call her that. I mean I could call her Foxylene Siouxsie Angel du Dehors but I don't think you'd like that, eh?" Erwin grinned mischievously as Patrick glared at him.
    "No, I haven't even talked with her. She kind of hates my guts right now. I mean, she did lose her entire world and everybody she ever loved so...I'm pretty sure sex is the last thing on her mind." Patrick stood up and went outside, Erwin following him. "I mean, I really don't blame her and she moved out so I don't know what she's up too. And you know when she disappears, she fucking becomes a ghost."
    "How hard is it to find her? She probably didn't move that far anyway."
    Patrick walked in the direction to where the sprinter would take him to San Marcos. "I don't think it's sinking in your brain yet that Hermione Granger can easily disappear just like that."

***

    The sun still shone high up in the sky as Patrick and Erwin walked through the Allmart doors. The air conditioning cooled Patrick down after having walked for a mile in the sun. They went to the movie section and looked through the Blu-rays and DVD's. Patrick looked around, not really watching where he was going when he bumped into a girl. "Oh I'm so sorry for...oh, it's you."
    He didn't recognize the girl facing him, dressed in goth clothing, with her pixie haircut and black dyed hair, but that familiar posh English accent stood out. "...Hermione? Is that you? You look different. I mean, you look better, not that you didn't look good before but I can barely...I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound like a jackass but I do, don't I?"
    She stared at him. "You always mess up everything, don't you?"
    Patrick felt like his stomach had a hole in it. Now all of the guilt that he could barely hold back on a daily basis tore through him as he remembered her scratching and hitting him as Patrick pulled her back from the door leading to her reality, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, as it collapsed into the void where those beings that shouldn't exist dwelt. Her peals of scream echoed as Erwin slammed the door with his foot because his hands were full with the flamethrower, as Patrick dragged her the hallways of doors that led into other realities as the door leading to Hogwarts dissolved into nothing as those things poured out and pursued them through the corridors. By then she had gone catatonic and motionless that Patrick struggled to keep her moving. The trio jumped through several doors and into several universes until they had lost them. When they made it back home, it became worse for her as she found out the truth about her life.
    That was six months ago. Man, it still feels like yesterday. Can't believe she bounced back from all of that. I still have those nightmares about them and I don't know how I'd ever handle the fact that my life was dictated by someone who writes children's books, Patrick thought. Or maybe the creator didn't just dream it up. Maybe she simply had a dream or a split second thought that was actually the other world peeking through a window and she noticed it momentarily before the window closed shut. She'd forget what happened until she would remember to write it down. But then, anything Harry Potter disappeared from the real world, as if it never existed. Because it fell into-
    "The void." Hermione said, finishing his train of thought. Because she could very easily read people's minds.
    "Um, you did that occuwhatever thing again, didn't you?"
    "Legilimency actually." She looked at him with suspicion. "What are you doing here?"
    Patrick seemed to have forgotten why he was there. "I was just looking for...this movie!"
    He picked a random title and took it off the shelf, not even looking at the cover.
    "You like Trancers then? Never knew you to be a big Trancers fan." Hermione said as she started looking through her special bag. Patrick took a quick glance at the movie he grabbed and found it odd that he happened to pick the movie that he wrote a fanfic. Then a thought popped up in his mind. Jack Deth could be very real, couldn't he? If Harry Potter existed, then surely-
    "Well then that would be retarded," Patrick blurted before realizing he spoke out loud. "Sorry. So, uh, I take it this whole get up is the new you, then? 'Cause this doesn't seem like you-"
    Hermione didn't even bother looking up as she pulled out a shiny box. "What? No, I'm undercover. I've been with this group of kids who may have found a door over here. And this Oztklplm is going to help me find it."
    "How do you even pronounce-wait, so the reason you left, why you haven't called is because you were busy playing secret agent? I am so confused."
    The box started to blink green lights and Hermione started to move quickly so Patrick had to catch up with her. "Why are you following me? Go away."
    "You're gonna need some back up here, so I'm coming along." Patrick said, still holding onto the Trancers Blu-ray. Hermione stopped by the TV section. Five goth kids with various piercings and dark clothing crowded around one of the HDTV's as the picture started to have some compression artefact. Two of the goth group left and headed for the front entrance of the store. Hermione's box started to blink rapidly as she got closer. She was careful to stay out of the group's sight. Patrick gave up on even asking what was going on and just decided to roll with whatever was happening. "Look, um, I know this isn't a good time to talk but I just want you to know that I'm really really sorry about what happened-"
    She sighed as she put away the box and pulled out her wand. "There is no point to this. You couldn't do a thing about it and I'm not blaming you for it. I'm also sorry I dropped out without so much as a good-bye. You screw up a lot of things but what happened...wasn't your fault."
    Patrick felt slightly better hearing this. "Thanks for saying that."
    Hermione shrugged. "Now would you mind staying out of the way, please? This could get ugly."
    He chuckled. "What are they gonna do? Read me some of their depressing poetry and bore me to death? C'mon, they're a bunch of-"
    Just then a store employee, a guy in his early thirties, walked up to the goths. His bright blue shirt and smile made him stick out. "Hey, you guys looking for anything in particular?"
    One of the goths, a tall guy, turned towards him as he reached into his coat. "Yeah, I want a look inside of that skull of yours."
    The employee, still smiling, said, "I'm sorry, I don't underst-"
    The back of his head exploded outwards. The employee's brains splattered a woman in her mid forties as she screamed in terror before being shot in her left eye. The tall goth had pulled out a revolver and started shooting indiscriminately at everyone while the other two pulled out a shotguns and blasted away. One of them turned towards Patrick, who stood there in stunned silence, and aimed at him. Hermione pushed him down to the ground as the shelf behind them got shredded by a shell. "Jesus fucking Christ, what-"
    Hermione interrupted him and pushed him away from her. "Get out of here! I'll take care of them! Go call the police!"
    Patrick crawled away as Hermione vanished into thin air.

***

    Erwin was at the video game section when he heard the shots echoing throughout the store, hearing more gunfire from the front entrance. "What the fuck-"
    A goth dude wielded a sawed off double barrel shotgun, blasting away at the people around him. He stopped to reload his weapon as another goth covered him by firing off shots. Erwin ran for cover, heading into the McDonalds section of the store and leapt over the counter. Two employees, a teen girl with strawberry blonde hair that had a pink streak running through it and an old black guy with a beard, crouched down in fear. She nearly screamed but the black guy covered her mouth. Erwin raised his hands up. "It's okay, I'm not one of the shooters."
    "Ohmygodwhat'shappeningamIgonnadie-"
    The black guy cut her off. "Kirsty, you have to keep your voice down or else they'll hear us."
    The teen sniffled, tears streaming down her face. Erwin felt his heart beating rapidly. Fucking what the hell is going on. Mass shooters? Fuck me, this is bad. Wait, where the fuck is Patrick? More shots were fired, causing the teen and black dude to flinch. Erwin reached into the back of his pants and pulled out a pocketknife. The black guy stared at him incredulously. "What the hell are you going to do with that?"
    "I don't know but it seems better than nothing. Have you called the cops yet?" Erwin peeked over the counter and spotted one of the goths heading towards the McDonalds.
    Shit.
    He crouched back down a bit too rapidly and knocked over some plastic forks, making too much noise. "Fuck, my bad. Uh I think one of em is head this way and you should leave like now."
    The teen started to cry as the black guy tried shushing her. Erwin held his pocketknife at the ready. I'm gonna die and they're gonna die. Fuck, I don't want to die.
    The goth peeked over the counter, his shotgun aimed squarely at Erwin, eyeliner and black lipstick sticking out from the paleface. His eyes revealed no emotions. Fingers squeezing the trigger-
    "Hey fuckface!" The goth turned towards whoever said that and Erwin heard a heavy thwack, a guy gurgling, and a thud as a body hit the floor. Several seconds passed and Patrick peeked over the counter. "Everyone okay?"
    Erwin let out his breath and thought of something clever to say but instead he said, "I'm good."
    "Erwin? Shit, thank God you're alive. C'mon, we gotta go help Hermione and-"
    "What? No way, I'm getting the fuck out of here. We're both getting out, man! Don't act like a retard, man, let's go!"
    The black guy spoke up. "I agree with the white boy. We need to leave now."
    Erwin stood up and saw that Patrick, looking queasy, held a bloody snow shovel in his hands. The goth was lying down, a pool of blood forming around his head. He dropped it and went to the goth, picking up the shotgun, and rifled through his pockets to find some other weapons. "Patrick, don't do this. You aren't in a movie. You're gonna fucking die and-"
    Patrick looked up at him as he finished picking out more shells for the shotgun. "Fine then. Leave if you're not going to help. But I'm not leaving her alone."
    "Do you even hear yourself?! She's a fucking witch. With godlike powers and other crazy shit. You'd be slowing her down," Erwin said as the goth moved, pulling out a small pistol.
    "I'm going to kill you cunts and skullfuck your mouths," said the goth as he fired off a shot, barely missing Patrick's head. He screamed and dropped the shotgun. Erwin dived for it, scooping it up, and aimed at the goth's head. "How about you skullfuck yourself, faggot!"
    Erwin fired both barrels and disintegrated the goth's head, spraying the floor with his brains. Only his bottom jaw was left as it spurted blood. Nobody said anything for a couple seconds before the teenage girl puked on the counter. After she finished vomiting, she picked up a bunch of napkins, wiped her mouth, and said, "That's really homophobic, you jerk. I have a gay brother."
    Erwin got to his feet and blew the smoke from the barrels of the shotgun. "You're welcome, by the way."
    Patrick nodded in agreement. "Yeah, that was uncalled for, man. You could have just left it out."
    The black guy spoke up. "I don't wanna sound ungrateful, but that was probably in bad taste."
    Erwin threw his hands up, waving the shotgun around and causing the black guy and the teen to flinch. "Are you fucking with me? Seriously, I just saved your asses and this is how you repay me!? I don't hate the gays!"
    "Erwin, just a small tip, when you say the gays, it's not helping your case, man."
    "Forget the tip, you guys are giving me the shaft. Fucking unbelievable. C'mon, let's go and help out your girlfriend, Patrick." Erwin popped out the empty shells from the shotgun and reloaded it.
    "But I thought-"
    Erwin turned around and said, "Dude, you are the most likely to die. I'm going to keep you from dying like a retard."
    The teen spoke up. "You really shouldn't say the R word. It's not politically correct."
    Erwin snapped at her. "I can say that word because my friend here happens to be a huge, certified retard. He was in Special Ed for the majority of his life and he took the short bus. And you just saw him spaz out by dropping the shotgun and nearly killing us. So yeah, he's a retard. Now where is Emma?"
    Patrick stuttered at him before replying. "Dude, what did I just say? Never mind. She's in the back of the store. With three of these assholes gunning for her. Uh, I don't have a weapon."
    Erwin gestured with the shotgun towards the pistol, a Glock, in the dead goth's hand. "Got one right there." He started to take off. Patrick went over to the goth and picked up the Glock as he gagged from the gory mess where his head used to be. He turned to the teen and the black guy. "In case anyone ever asks, could you leave out the little detail where I screamed like a little girl. It wouldn't look good for me. And the other thing about me being in Special Ed. Okay?"
    They stared at him. Patrick nodded. "Uh okay, have a nice day, I mean, just stay safe...I'm leaving now."
    And he took off after Erwin.

***

    Hermione Granger cussed under her breath as she evaded the goth kids, crouching low and hiding behind the lawnmower. She kept her wand at the ready. The two goths were gunning for her in the hardware section of the store. I could use the Killing Curse on them. She stopped herself. That would make her no different than the killers. She heard footsteps coming in her direction.
    "No killing. I can't do it. I won't." She whispered to herself. She peeked around the lawnmower and found one of the shooters nearby, his back turned towards her. She aimed her wand and cast Petrificus Totalus on him. The tip of her wand flashed and the shooter became rigidly still before falling down on the ground.
    "Well, that was easy." She said before she heard a shotgun being pumped behind her. She immediately used the Disapparition charm and teleported herself towards the other end of the hardware section as she heard the shotgun blast from the other side. The goth, 35 yards away, whipped around and fired again. Hermione disapparated again, dodging another blast, appearing behind him. He turned around and she used Expelliarmus to disarm him. The shotgun was flung out of his hands but he dived to the side, pulling out two Glock pistols and firing a barrage at her, only to miss her as she disapparated again. He stood up again, firing random shots. He saw some movement behind a shelf and fired his pistols simultaneously, forcing Hermione to keep disapparating.
    Hermione had disapparated to the furniture section, hiding behind a desk. She couldn't get a clear shot at the second shooter since he kept moving around and firing constantly.
    "I know who you are, bitch. The man in my dreams warned me about you. Said to keep an eye out for you. And I'm making sure it stays that way." The goth shouted before he fired his Glock pistols at the tables, cabinets, and desks in the furniture section. A bullet went through the desk that Hermione hid behind, nearly missing her head. She was going to have use drastic measures. She pointed her wand over the desk and started casting Incendio at anything. The goth shouted as she heard flames crackling, burning the furniture. She disapparated to into the bed section and cast more of the fire-making spell in the direction of the goth. Hermione had lit up the whole section as the fire increased and burned everything. A little excessive but it got the job done.
    Just then, the goth burst out of the flames, screaming in agony and fury, and firing his pistols. His coat had caught on fire but that didn't seem to stop him. Hermione cast several Stupefy spells at him but he dived for cover behind a bed. He fired over the bed, shooting up the other beds, as feathers flew up in air. She fired several more Stupefy spells, bolts of red light tearing the air and the beds. He leapt over the bed as Hermione cast Mobiliarbus on the bed, sending it into the ceiling, crushing the shooter. It crashed back down, as the shooter bounced off it upon impact and hit the floor. His limbs were broken, some of sticking through the skin, as he lay unconscious. Hermione panted, shaking off the adrenaline, as she walked up to him. He was breathing erratically but she didn't care as she picked up the guns and took them apart, leaving nothing to chance, crouched next to him and took out his knife. She chucked it and cast Reducto on it. Then she made her way to the furniture section, the sprinklers activating and trying to put out the fire. She cast Aguamenti on the flames, to make it easier for the sprinklers, water spraying from her wand. Who was he talking about? The man in his dreams? This doesn't make sense. At least there was only two shooters left and she hoped that Patrick took her advice and left.
    Several gunshots from the back of the other store proved otherwise. "Fuck. That idiot is botching things up already!"
    She apparated to the back and found herself nearly under fire as the tall goth fired his revolver at Patrick and Erwin, who were firing back erratically from behind a shelf. The TV section was swathed in blood and the tall goth had taken off his coat and shirt, showing off his scars, parallel lines that looked vaguely familiar. Erwin got a shot off and hit him right in the chest, knocking the tall goth back against the TV's.
    "Bullseye motherfucker! That oughta teach these faggots not to fuck with me!" Erwin shouted as Patrick shook his head.
    "Dude, seriously, you have got to stop saying that. It's not cool and it really doesn't make you sound badass or funny." Patrick said. 
    "And I keep telling you I mean it in the South Park way, Patrick. When I say faggots, what I really mean is the fuckers who make life shitty and miserable for the rest of us. Just like this faggot here!"
    Patrick sighed loudly. "The word is never going to mean what you say and it makes you sound like a twelve year old kid who plays Call of Duty non-stop."
    Erwin glared at him. "That's a low-blow, Patrick. I play real video games. Don't even put me in with those faggots."
    "Fuck it, I'm done arguing the point. I'm shutting it down, I'm shutting this conversation down." Patrick spotted Hermione on the other side. "Hey! I told you we'd have your back!"
    "I never said I would have her back. You're the only one who thought she couldn't take care of herself. And you call me a sexist all the time because you think I don't believe women can take care of themselves. Yeah, well who's the sexist now?"
    Patrick snapped at Erwin. "And I call you a misogynist too because you keep making unfunny rape jokes all the fucking time. And the only reason you think she can take care of herself is the fact that she has godlike powers! That's probably not enough to take on the friggin' bad guys...shit, that came out wrong, Hermione, sorry! I didn't mean that you can't take care of yourself, it's just that it wouldn't hurt if you had some back-up, uh right?"
    Erwin raised his hands and called out to her. "He said it. Not me, I'm not the one being a chauvinist right now. He is. I just want it on the record that I totally thought you had this under control and that I tried dragging him out. But he acted like a retard and tried to getting himself killed. The fact that you blew up half the store taking out the other faggots is proof enough that you didn't need help. And now the sprinklers are on and my clothes are wet and a bunch of faggots were trying to kill me today. Because this retard didn't know any better."
    Hermione, already exasperated by the sheer display of idiocy, sighed and turned toward the dead tall goth. The body wasn't there any more. "What the f-"
    A bone rattling voice thundered through the store. "THE TIME HAS COME FOR HIM TO CROSS OVER. HE WILL FEAST ON YOUR CORPSES, RAPE YOUR BABIES TO DEATH, MAKE YOUR FAMILIES FALL INTO HATRED AND DESPAIR, TEAR THE SKY ASUNDER, AND GIVE NEW MEANING TO FEAR."
    Erwin picked at his ear with his pinky and said, "You gonna have to speak up because I didn't catch that."
    The HDTV that had compression artefact now showed the tall goth or rather what was left of him. His skin was melting off as something bulged under it.
    Patrick aimed his gun at the screen. "No way, shit for brains."
    Just then Hermione realized what the TV was. A door or window into another world. But to what she didn't know until now. The way the tall goth's scarring looked reminded her of a particular boogeyman.
    "No, Patrick don't shoot at the-"
    It was too late as Patrick fired a shot at the TV. It shattered but instead of the image going out, it slid into reality.

***

    The mass of bubbling flesh writhed on the floor as the skin slopped off. It stood up and the last piece of skin sloughed off, revealing Freddy Krueger. The burnt skin on his skull pulsated, as if something else was trying to break out through Freddy's body. His trademark fedora, striped sweater, and clawed hands were all there.
  "Shit! Nice going, Patrick, you really fucked the goose this time, man." Erwin said as he aimed his shotgun at Freddy and fired. The pellets tore through the flesh but it didn't knock him down. Freddy cackled as he pointed at one of the corpses from the massacre. It twitched and stood up, as the dead employee who had his brains blown out now rose up and started towards Erwin. Several more bodies began moving. Patrick started shooting at the reanimated corpse running towards them.
    "Dude, I can't believe we're fighting-"
    "DON'T SAY IT, ERWIN, DON'T SAY THE FUCKING Z-WORD. I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL KILL YOU IF YOU DO." Patrick fired his Glock and the employee got shot in the head a second time.
    Hermione simply cast Incendio at the moving dead bodies but the sprinklers set the fires out. So she used Reducto on them, due to the fact that they were just moving solid masses of flesh. The results were spectacular as the lights from the spells flashed through the air and the bodies exploded into red giblets. She kept casting it repeatedly, mowing down the living dead.
    "Fucking A, she's got this. But we gotta get out of here, Patrick, away from these zombies!" Erwin fired his last shell at the head of a zombie and it burst into pieces.
    "Dammit, Erwin, what did I fucking say?! I said to not use that word!" Patrick fired several times before it clicked on empty and then he threw it at the zombies.
    "Okay, do you want me to call them undead faggots then?"
    Patrick groaned as he ran to the front of the store. The last goth was firing into the zombies, created by him, but they overtook him and tore him to pieces as the goth screamed in agony.
    "You reap what you sow, faggot!" Erwin shouted at the dying goth as he pushed a zombie out of the way, dropping his shotgun, and running through the front doors.
    Outside, it was all chaos as the local police and SWAT units had their hands full with the zombies. They hadn't yet realized that they weren't people who were wounded. And then shots were fired, culminating in a fusillade into a cluster of zombies. Patrick and Erwin ducked out of the way and hid behind some cars as the SWAT's submachine gunfire rattled through air.
    "Shit! What the fuck do we do now!" Patrick yelled above the din of gunshots.
    "WHAT?"
    "I said, what do we do now?"
    "What do we do now, Patrick?" Erwin shouted, not noticing Patrick shaking his head in annoyance. He yanked Erwin's sleeve and pointed at the parking lot entrance. Erwin nodded and crawled along with Patrick, staying out of the way from the police.
    Suddenly Erwin slumped down, screaming in pain, as he grabbed his shoulder. A stray bullet had hit him and Patrick pointed at the armored SWAT van. "Quick, in there!"
    He dragged his friend as the battle raged on and they leapt in the back, closing the doors. Erwin rocked back and forth as his shoulder bled as Patrick looked at it.
    "How bad is it?" Erwin said as blood ran profusely from the gaping, bloody hole in his back.
    "Uh, it's not so bad...."
    Erwin yelled in pain again, gritted his teeth and glared at Patrick. "You're a shitty fucking liar, you know that, right?"
    "What do you want me to say, that it's the size of a golf ball?!"
    "What the fuck, really?! I didn't know it was that bad! Why the fuck would you tell me that!?"
    "I didn't say it was bad! And you asked!" Patrick tried to lean Erwin back but he screamed in more pain.
    "Just-just stop, okay, please. You've done enough to fuck up my day. Now, I'm going to pass out here and hope that I die while I'm unconscious."
    Something moved in the front seat. Erwin groaned as he and Patrick turned towards where the sound came from. "Now what?"
    An EMT peeked over the seat. "Oh thank God, I thought you were one of them. Hey, is your friend all right there?"
    Erwin winced as he held a hand over his wound. "Actually, I'm perfectly fine so no need to worry about me at all."
    The EMT looked confused. "Uh...okay, I should probably take a look at that."
    "YEAH YOU DO THAT."
    
***
 
    "REDUCTO, REDUCTO, REDUCTO, REDUCTO, REDUCTO, REDUCTO, REDUCTO!" Hermione didn't even bother casting nonverbally as she blasted the zombies away with her wand. Two of them jumped at her and she cast her spell twice, decapitating one and bifurcating the other. The sprinkler system made the floor slippery as the blood from the obliterated zombies covered the entire floor. The bifurcated zombie didn't stop going after her as the upper half crawled towards her. She obliterated the zombie's head with a flick of her wand.
    And then the SWAT unit, who had been fighting their way into their store, came upon the scene with their guns blazing. Hermione dove for cover behind the McDonald's counter as they fired indiscriminately, not sure who wasn't human and who wasn't a zombie. The shelves were being shot to pieces, zombies being pelted with bullets as blood spurted from the gunshot wounds, and the floor running red with blood. Stuck between the guncrazy police and the ravenous zombie horde, she muttered fuck several times over and over.
    "Fuck me, this is about as bad as it gets." Hermione said to herself.
    And then it got worse.
    Freddy showed up, arms outstretched and walking ever so slowly towards the phalanx of the SWAT team. The shooting hadn't even fazed the infamous villain at all. He got so close to the SWAT team that he swiped away at one and slit his throat. The poor bastard gurgled as he wandered away from the phalanx before being impaled by Freddy's claws through the back. Freddy lifted him with his one arm and flung him towards the McDonald's. The dead SWAT flew over the counter and slammed into the deep fryer, his head dipping into the boiling grease as the flesh began to be burned. Hermione felt herself nearly gagging at the horrifying sight as the stench overwhelmed her. Just then, she saw movement in the back and two other people peeked from the fridge door. A small, dainty hand waved her in and Hermione crawled past the dead body of the SWAT guy.
    Only for an arm to shoot out and grab her throat. Hermione gagged as the zombified SWAT raised its head, the skin bubbling with blisters from grease burns. She pointed her wand at the face and yelled, "REDUCTO."
    It was instantaneous as the head exploded, spraying her with blood and brains. It felt warm and some of it got into her mouth, the blood tasting like copper. She spat it out, wrested the hand from her throat, and scampered into the walk-in freezer.
    "Shut that fucking door, shut it now!" A man's voice shouted. The door was slammed shut and the chaos of carnage and gunfire was muffled. Hermione still tasted the blood so she kept spitting until the taste went away. And then she took a deep breath as her eyes were shut. Then she opened them and looked at a young blonde girl who appeared to be in her teens, a pink streak running through her hair, and an older black man with graying hair. They were staring at her in disgust and she didn't know why until she touched her face and drew back her bloody hands.
    "Oh God." Hermione started wiping her face roughly to get rid of the blood. I can't get it off, I can't I can't I can't I CAN'T.
   
"Hey, uh, here's a water bottle-" The blonde girl didn't finish her sentence as Hermione pointed her wand at it, used the Levitation Charm, and levitated the bottled water right into her free hand. She poured it all over her face, scrubbing to get rid of any lingering traces of blood. When she was done, the black man and young girl now had an expression of fear on their faces.
    "Don't worry, I'm not going to hurt you," Hermione said but they seemed unconvinced. She couldn't blame them, after all of the insanity that's still going on, someone with magic would definitely put them on edge.
    "What are you? You look like one of those kids who were shooting up the place." The black man said as he held up a kitchen knife. Hermione realized that with her disguise on, they would be afraid of her. She slowly raised her hands up and said, "Believe me when I say that I have nothing to do with that lot. If anything, I was trying to prevent them from committing mass murder. But as you can see, it hasn't gone too well. Now if you would be kind enough to put down that knife, I can show you two the way out."
    The black man didn't seem convinced but the blonde girl knelt by Hermione. "I think she's telling the truth, Jack. Okay, whoever you are-"
    "Hermione Granger. Pleased to meet you."
    "Name's Andrea. Hermione, what's your plan on getting us out?" Hermione contemplated on how to explain it to them before she decided to just outright say it.
    "I can teleport the three of us out of here with just a flick of my wand." Hermione said, using a word that most muggles would be familiar with as opposed to Apparate.
    "It's that simple, huh? Well, why didn't you do that to begin with then." Jack said.
    "I wanted to make sure everybody got out. And the two of you are probably the only ones still stuck here except for the police. Now, do you want to catch pneumonia or shall we leave?"
    "This is crazy. How-"
    "Look, do you want to get out or not?" Hermione said. She stood up and held out her hand to Andrea. "Hold onto my hand and you hold onto Jack's. Go on, do it."
    When the three of them were ready, Jack spoke up. "This is really stupid."
    Hermione worried about splinching but she had no other alternative. "Jack, Andrea, I want you to visualize where you want to go and focus on that visual as hard as you can. Preferably somewhere not too far but enough distance between here and our destination."
    "The sprinter station. That's far enough for me. Jack, what do you say?" Andrea said, glancing towards Jack. He merely shrugged.
    "Good enough for me."
    Hermione visualized the sprinter station and concentrated hard. "Get ready. Also, you might be a little sick."
    Jack said something but he was cut off as the three Apparated out of the store-
    -and onto the sprinter platform, in front of commuters as they goggled at a middle aged black guy, a white teenaged girl, and a blood spattered goth suddenly appear out of thin air. Jack keeled over and vomited while Andrea made a gagging noise. Hermione felt an uneasy feeling but that was normal with Side Along Apparition.
    "Fuck, that felt like going through a small tunnel made of rubber," Jack said as he wiped his mouth.
    Hermione looked over at Andrea, who made a thumbs up sign to show that she was holding up while covering her mouth with the other. She heard an explosion in the distance. The people at the platform turned to the direction of the sound and she could hear several gasps. Smoke billowed up from the direction of the store. Hermione dreaded going back but she knew that nobody could stop Krueger. I'm the only thing standing between Freddy Krueger's horde of zombies and humanity. Hermione sighed to herself. And that was an actual thought I had. What has become of my life.
   
Hermione was about to Disapparate when she stopped and said to Jack and Andrea, "Well, wish me luck."
    "Lady, I hope I never see you ever again in my life," said Jack.
    "Good luck," said Andrea.
    Hermione vanished into thin air again, back into the storm.

***

    The EMT finished up patching Erwin's shoulder. Patrick sat in silence as he thought about how much he had fucked up. Well, it was bound to happen again sooner or later. Guess it was sooner. Erwin nearly got killed, Hermione might be dead and if she isn't, she probably hates my guts. And I may have caused the end of the world.
   
"Hey Erwin, you were right, man. I am a retard. I don't think I could have messed up even more than that time I brought that airsoft gun to school."
    Erwin, though medicated, looked at Patrick. "Nah. To be fair, even though you fucked over the world, you did it with good intentions. And I would still have your back."
    Patrick sniffled a bit. Either his friend was really high or he was finally being cool with him because they were going to die. "Thanks, I really appreciate hearing that. Really wished we could have watched Trancers though."
    "Ha, no thanks. I'd rather die, which might be soon, than watch another shitty movie with you. Besides, the only Blu-ray player nearby is in the store and-"
    And then dawned on Patrick that they could still save the world and Hermione. He looked down at the Blu-ray case of Trancers. "Erwin, you magnificent bastard. I know what we're gonna do next."
    Erwin closed his eyes. "Ah shit, you have a plan, don't you?"

***

Diane: Good evening, I'm Diane Stillson and this is your KTLA 5 Local News, with a breaking news story that is happening now. Our correspondent Dan Barnes is at the scene live with a chopper. Dan, are you there?

Dan: Yes, Diane, and it is a scene of total chaos as SWAT units and local law enforcement officials are locked into a relentless battle with what appears to be a group of individuals exhibiting cannibalistic tendencies. And-oh my God, are you catching this?

[Footage of a SWAT van speeding across the parking lot as it crashes through the front entrance]

Dan: It seems the SWAT units have decided to go with a daring plan and drive right into the store.

[Footage of a police chopper flying over the store only for it to fall onto the rooftop. It crashes through, causing a massive hole]

Dan: Oh my God. Did you get that? Fly us in closer. Okay, it-what? It turns out that the SWAT van has been commandeered by two men in their early twenties. And one of them, the tall one, seems to be wounded but standing up fine. He's armed with a SWAT submachine gun and is firing, with one arm I believe, on the attackers while the other is wielding a Japanese sword?! I think it's a katana of sorts. Oh, he just cut down one of the attackers and is making his way through to the electronics section.

[Footage of the individuals fighting their way through the horde of violent attackers. The one holding the gun looks up and flips the bird at the camera. The other one with the katana runs to a video recording device]

Dan: The shorter man is trying to put something in the...DVD player? He's plugged it into one of the TV's. He's put the DVD in...okay, now he's been jumped by one of the attackers and is fighting him off. They're struggling and-wait, the short individual has knocked off the assailant and Oh Lord, he decapitated him! Now he's focusing on the DVD player again and-

[Footage at this point is rendered fuzzy as a bright light flashes from the TV before coming back to normal again. Now there are two more individuals]

Dan: Two more individuals have joined the fray. A dark haired man with a chainsaw and a shotgun and he's accompanied by an older man in a trenchcoat who has a hairdryer?! The man with the chainsaw seems confused as to the events happening around him. He's talking with the shorter man as the latter is waving his hands around. The dark haired man nods and is shrugging before helping the younger man fight off the attackers. The older man is shooting his hairdryer and there's a thin beams of light emanating from it. Is this a new weapon from law enforcement?!

[Footage shows the two older men side by side taking down several of the attackers. The dark haired man with the chainsaw cleaves one of the attackers in half, spraying blood everywhere. The older man is firing his weapon until one of the attackers leaps onto his back. The man with the chainsaw gestures for him to hold still as he aims his shotgun at the other man, to shoot the attacker. The older man shakes his head in vehement disagreement, clearly not happy with the other's idea. The man with the shotgun shoots at the attacker anyway, knocking both the older man and the attacker down. The old man gets back up and seems extremely distressed with the other man]

Dan: Wow, this is extremely violent footage. Viewers with young ones at home may want to change the channel due to the extreme graphic images. Wait a minute...who is that young girl?

[Footage of a girl in dark clothing firing technicolor beams of light at the attacker, causing them to explode in red mist. The man with the chainsaw starts attacking her but the short guy stands between them. The older man in the coat keeps firing his strange weapon. The man with the chainsaw lowers his shotgun tentatively before pushing the short guy out of the way and firing at the girl. The girl doesn't seemed fazed by the blast and transforms into an individual wearing a fedora and wielding a clawed hands. The attackers gathered around the man with the fedora, seemingly protecting him. The same girl dark clothing then comes into view from a different direction, firing technicolor beams at the clawed man]

Dan: Uh, what the fuck...I can't believe what I just saw. Knew I shouldn't have drank on the job today.

Cameraman off-screen: You're still on the air, Dan.

Dan: Oh shit!

***

    "Hey asshole, anyone ever tell you that burnt victim look is in bad taste?" said Ash Williams as he cranked up his chainsaw arm and raised his double barrel shotgun at the infamous serial killer. Jack Deth, a scar running down the left side of his face, groaned in annoyance. Ash glanced in his direction. "You got something you wanna share with the group?"
    "I'm not the type to open up and share my feelings with a therapist bot," Jack said as he leveled his Heater and .38 Special at Freddy Krueger.
    "Oh, we got a real tough guy here. All machismo and no heart. You gotta let the ladies know that you have a bit of a sensitivity. That way, they'll fall madly in love with you."
    "Holy shit, Ash, how did you know Hermione was actually one of Freddy's disguises?!" Patrick exclaimed in awe.
    Ash smirked. "I didn't, kiddo."
    Jack spoke up. "Don't mean to-"
    Patrick looked aghast. "Uh, excuse me? You mean, even if it was my actual friend, you would have shot anyway?!"
    Jack tried interjecting again. "How about we have this conversation some-"
    "Look at it from my point of view, Pablo-"
    "Patrick."
    "-Exactly. I see a girl who's dressed up like she's ready for Halloween and shooting laser beams from her stick. Does that look like a trustworthy individual to you?"
    "Well, when you put it that way, I guess...."
    "I think I rest my case. Now where were we oh shit!"
    Freddy Krueger's zombie horde had gathered around him. Jack said, "Just thought you should know that we're surrounded."
    Ash shrugged. "Doesn't matter, we'll just cut-"
    Several beams of light cut through the zombie horde as Hermione fired several Reducto spells at them. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING STANDING AROUND LIKE A BUNCH OF WANKERS. FUCKING DO SOMETHING."
    "Get the bitch! She'll be my new toy,' Freddy growled as the zombies went after her. The rest went after the two heroes and the two schlubs with them.
    "They're gonna overwhelm us!" Patrick shouted as he cut down one of them with the wakizashi he picked up in the special items store.
    "You maybe but I'm walking out of here today." Ash said as he bifurcated a zombie with his chainsaw, spraying gore everywhere, while shooting another in the head. Jack fired his Heater and 38. Special into the horde, chewing on a toothpick.
    Erwin held the MP5 subgun sideways. "Chinese Bandit Shooting, bitches!"
    He used the recoil of the gun to sweep the horde, cutting down several zombies. But one of them grabbed him, jamming its thumb into his wound and causing it to spurt blood. He screamed in pain as he bashed the barrel of the MP5 into the zombie's eye.
    He pulled the trigger, blowing out the back of its skull.
    Patrick cut through the zombies to get to Hermione. And then he got dragged down. Oh shit, this is how I'm gonna die.
   
A sickly green light filled his vision as it hit Krueger. He grunted...and didn't fall to the ground. It took Patrick several seconds to realize that Hermione, pushed to her limits, cast the Killing Curse. And it failed to do anything to Freddy Krueger.
    Suddenly, a door appeared out of nowhere and it opened. What the hell-
   
A deep sounding shotgun blast echoed throughout the demolished store as an old, ponytailed man with a receding hairline and an ice cream vendor suit with a black vest, holding a quad barrelled shotgun and wearing a bag on his back, walked through the door that appeared out of thin air. The zombies that held Patrick down collapsed, shot by the ice cream vendor.
    "What the hell...what is even-"
    Ash interrupted the ice cream vendor. "Hey, if you're not too busy jerking around, how about a little help?"
    The ice cream vendor quickly reloaded his awesome weapon and moved out of the way. "Listen, we have to close that door quick or the Tall Man will come through!"
    Ash, cleaving a zombie head with his chainsaw, said, "Well that's interesting, old timer, and all but I don't have time to hear about your friend's height-"
    The ice cream vendor cut him off as he fired his quad shotgun at the zombies, knocking a whole bunch back. "The name is Reggie and the Tall Man ain't no friend of mine and he's gonna rain on everyone's parade if that door isn't-"
    A tall, imposing pale man in a black suit walked through the door where Reggie the ice cream vendor, who said shit, had walked through. He may have looked extremely old but there was something immediately off about him. The zombies backed away from him and everyone went quiet. He scanned the wrecked store before his eyes landed on Reggie. In a cold voice full of malevolence, he said, "You have something that belongs to me."
    "The hell you say, I'm not letting you get Mike, you sonofabitch!" Reggie shouted, the bag on his back quivering. "You're not-"
    "It's okay, Reg, just let me go and you'll be safe." The voice came from the bag. Reggie unshouldered the bag and opened it. A golden sphere the size of a softball floated out.
    "Mike, I'm not letting that Tall Bastard get a hold of you. You can make it, we can make it." Reggie's voice wavered, on the verge of a breakdown.
    "Reg, you have to let go. Live to fight another day. Maybe even move on and start a new family." The sphere said
    "Mike, I can't because you're the only family I got." Now Reggie started crying. The sphere started to float away from him. Reggie pointed his quad shotgun at the Tall Man.
    "Reggie, don't do this." The sphere floated towards the Tall Man's face. "I won't go unless you take that guy away from here. That's the least you can do for the people here."
    The Tall Man looked straight at Freddy Krueger. The boogeyman stared back, holding his claws up.
    "Now why would you think I would do that, Michael?"
    "You forced me to do this." The golden sphere zipped towards Freddy, a high pitched whirring noise echoing in the store, as it jammed itself right in his mouth. It shifted its form as small blades jutted out and shredded his mouth and made its way into his throat. Hermione put a hand over her mouth and the others looked away in disgust. Ash merely said, "Well that's just gross."
    The Tall Man made a motion with his hand and several other spheres, their color in silver, flew out of the door and towards Krueger. The silver spheres popped wicked looking claws and penetrated all over Freddy's body. Then drills popped from the spheres and started digging into his flesh. Freddy's screams of pain were choked off due to the golden sphere stuck in his throat, shredding his vocal cords, as the silver spheres lifted him and took him through the doorway as The Tall Man followed.
    The door slammed and vanished into thin air.
    The zombies all fell down, having lost their master.
    Erwin was lying down on the linoleum floor, groaning in pain he put his hand on his shoulder, his wound was open again.
    Jack Deth took out a carton of cigarettes and lit one up.
    Reggie sobbed as he sat on the floor, his weapon next to him.
    Hermione standing around, hands on her head, breathing out loud in relief.
    Patrick getting up and flicking the wakizashi of its blood, shaking from the adrenaline overload.
    Ash shrugging and killing his chainsaw as it sputtered before saying, "Well, that happened."
    A piece of the ceiling fell down and crashed against the wrecked chopper.

***

    Hermione had apparated all of them out of the now demolished Allmart, to avoid witnesses and police questioning. Erwin called for a ride as Hermione healed his wound completely.
    "No, we need two cars. We got more company. Yeah, Patrick decided to be a retard and-ow!" Hermione had lightly smacked the back of his head.
    "Maybe you should cut him some slack, Erwin. He may have bollocksed the whole thing up but at least he tried salvaging the situation." Hermione turned to Patrick as he held the wakizashi, sheathed in its crimson scabbard, giving him a look that was a mixture of gratitude and mock annoyance. "What am I going to do with you, Patrick?"
    "I don't know but you'll think of something," Patrick said as he grimaced a bit. Ash looked over and commented. "Yeah, you'll be feeling THAT in the morning. Live it up, kiddo."
    Ash walked over to Reggie. "Hey, I'm sorry you lost your friend who happened to be a floating sphere thingy."
    "Uh thanks. He wasn't always like that but the Tall Man made him that way. I'm gonna find him, kill the Tall Man, and save Mike." Reggie looked at him and said, "Didn't catch your name."
    "It's Ash. Ash Williams. So that Tall Dude must be a real piece of work."
    Reggie looked at the sunset, the sky turning purplish and golden. "You have no idea, man."
    Jack Deth just stood around smoking his cigarette. Patrick came over to him. "Hey, uh, Mr. Deth. I just want to thank-"
    Jack turned on him. "Listen here, squid, I just found out that my life has been nothing but a made up dream and that I'm a fictional creation. The fact that I'm the hero of my own story? What a joke. I've never stuck out my neck for nobody and I've killed too many people to be considered a hero."
    "If that's the case, then why didn't you refuse?" Patrick wiped his nose. Jack shrugged. "I figured you guys don't need a Trancer infestation running around in your dimension."
    "Bullshit, you did it because it was the right thing and you know it."
    "Scram before I change my mind and singe you." Patrick held up his hands and backed away.
    When Erwin's friends, Irwin and Tommy, came by in their truck and muscle car, the group drove to Brian's house.
    Patrick, sighing to himself as he sat in the muscle car with Tommy, thinking that he, Erwin, and Hermione had been caught on camera. Sooner or later, the cops are gonna arrest us and we'll be thrown in jail...well, me and Erwin. Hermione will probably just disappear again.
   
When they got to Brian's house at the edge of Escondido, Patrick was the first through the door. "Uh, Brian, here's the thing. We have more-"
    Patrick didn't get to finish his sentence as a velociraptor leapt on him and knocked him down. Patrick screamed like a little girl as the raptor started to lick face like a dog.
    Irwin, Patrick's other friend who had a similar sounding name but the complete opposite of Erwin's personality, snapped at his pet raptor. "Hey! What did I tell you about guests, Thor? Get off. Go on, scat!"
    The raptor looked up at Irwin and snarled. Irwin grabbed Thor's snout. "No. NO. Go play in the backyard."
    The raptor got off Patrick and went out the back. Irwin helped Patrick up. "Sorry, Patrick. I told Rocky to keep an eye on Thor but apparently he was too busy practicing his boxing. Again."
    As if on cue, Rocky Balboa walked into the living room. "Hey Patrick, how you doin'? Listen, Irwin, I know you told me to keep an eye on Thor but the guy is always moving, y'know how it is. Who's that?"
    Rocky referred to the guests, Ash, Reggie, and Jack, walking through the front door and crashing on the couch. Rocky's face lit up as he recognized Hermione. "Hey Hermione is back! C'mere, let's have a hug."
    Hermione smiled as they hugged. "Good to see you too, Mr. Balboa."
    Rocky laughed. "Please, call me Rocky. I've missed ya."
    "All right, Rocky. I've missed you too."
    She excused herself and went to the bathroom. Rocky patted Patrick on the back. "See, I told you she'd come back, didn't I?"
    Patrick nervously chuckled. "Yeah, yeah you did, Rocky."
    Brian, a portly black dude, came from his room. "Dude, I saw you guys all over the news. That was some crazy shit!"
    Erwin, who rubbed his newly healed shoulder, said, "Yeah, and this day would have been fine if this re-if Patrick here hadn't followed his head, if you know what I mean."
    Patrick coughed out loud. "Erwin, you really need to uh keep your mouth shut, man."
    Ash spoke up. "Ah, relax kiddo, everyone can see how you feel about that hot witch. Personally, she's a bit too young for me but she's definitely got eyes for you."
    Patrick smiled. "You think?"
    Ash broke out into laughter. "Oh hell no, I was just yanking your chain. She is way outta your league, man. Just...no."
    Even Jack chuckled and Reggie smiled a bit, his thoughts somewhere else. Patrick's face burned from the embarrassment. Later that evening, Patrick and Rocky stood on the backyard patio. Rocky was drinking a beer and Patrick sipping his root beer.
    "Is it really that obvious, Rocky? I mean, I've only told you."
    "The way I see it, Patrick, you either tell her how you feel or you don't. Just go for it. The worse that can happen is that she turns you down."
    Patrick sighed. "That's what I'm afraid of."
    "It ain't the end of the world if she says no. Just means it ain't gonna happen." Rocky took a swig from his beer.
    "Well, the world almost ended today and I almost died without telling her."
    Rocky looked up at the stars. "Kid, some bad folks up there, in the dark spaces between the stars. They are planning to hurt us in ways that we can't even imagine. But for now, we're together and there ain't nothing that can slow us down."
    Patrick sipped his root beer again. "You're right, Rocky. Thanks for the advice. I think I know what to do now."
    He went inside to find Hermione, filled with a new purpose. Rocky looked up at the night sky. "Any time, kid. Any time.
    And then Rocky went inside the house.

deviantID

47ronin100's Profile Picture
47ronin100

Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
I'm just a guy who happens to be a major film geek, bookworm, otaku, gamer, pizza connoisseur, and fledgling writer. Kind of shy but once you get to know me, I can't shut up! It's sort of empty here without anything to post but once I get revving up, that'll hopefully change.

ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY TRIANGULON! If you get this, you supa cool.
Interests

AdCast - Ads from the Community

×

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconnillamustikka:
NillaMustikka Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks for the watch!
Reply
:iconfutureaesthetic:
FutureAesthetic Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2015  Professional General Artist
Thanks for the fav! :D (Big Grin)
Reply
:iconfarhan43:
farhan43 Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2015  Student General Artist
Thx 4 the watch!!
Reply
:icont-r-e-v:
T-R-E-V Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2015
:iconthxwatchplz:
Reply
:icont-r-e-v:
T-R-E-V Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2015
:iconthxfavplz:
Reply
:iconandrewdefelice:
AndrewDeFelice Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
Thanks for adding me to your Watch. All the best to you. 
Reply
:iconhugeben:
hugeben Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks for the watch and fav! :)
Reply
:iconmonsterkingofkarmen:
MonsterKingOfKarmen Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2015  Professional Traditional Artist
Thanks.
Reply
:iconjakeekiss:
JakeEkiss Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2015
Thanks for the :+fav:
Reply
:iconosmont2:
Osmont2 Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2015  Professional General Artist
Thanks 4 the watch!!
Reply
Add a Comment: